Found 461 results
25.7s
Now, fellas, I want you to real sexy right now. We're gonna sing to all the ladies. All the fellas go like this, in your Barry White voice. # Take your panties off # Take your panties off # Come on, Rihanna Take your panties off for me # Come on, Craig, can you fuck off for me? # I'll do one of them things.
This Is the End
30s
I don't know why I'm thinking of this, but remember that time that I got you a fucking Taco Bell gift certificate for, like, 20 bucks, and I bet you that you couldn't eat all of that in one sitting. I do remember that. I remember thinking, "How much food could 20 dollars "possibly buy you at Taco Bell?" And the answer is infinite. And we went to see fucking Gladiator. Yeah. And you sharted midway through the movie. I did. Due to the tigers' appearance. I got scared of the tigers. Yeah. Literally, when the second tiger came out, I went... ...and then I shat. I shat in the theater.
This Is the End
47.6s
What? It's good for you. I didn't know... You're supposed to take six shits a day. That's not true. It is true! You're supposed to shit twice a day. No. That's not true. That's what they used to think. Now they know you're supposed to shit six times a day. So you're not drinking. You're not smoking weed. You're not... No, no, I'm drinking and smoking weed. But... I'm on a cleanse. I'm not psychotic. Look, man, if you stopped eating gluten, you'd feel way fucking better all day. Whenever you feel shitty, that's 'cause of gluten. That's not true. It is. Who the fuck told you not to eat gluten? It's just true. You don't even know what gluten is. I know what fucking gluten is. No, you have no idea what gluten is. I do know what gluten is. Gluten's a vague term. It's something that's used to categorize things that are bad, you know? Calories, that's a gluten. Fat, that's a gluten. Somebody just told you you probably shouldn't eat gluten, you're like, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't eat gluten. " Gluten means bad shit, man, and I'm not eating it.
This Is the End
43.6s
Oh. You know what, actually? We should go to Franco's house soon. He's having a housewarming party. He just finished building his house. I haven't even seen it yet, but it's supposed to be bonkers. I haven't been in LA in, like, a year, and I came here to chill with you. We can chill together, and we'll chill with those other guys. We'll all chill as one big unit. Will I even know anybody there? You know James Franco. James Franco doesn't even know my name. Jonah Hill will be there. Can't stand him. He can't stand me. He's, like, the nicest guy in the world! He likes you so much. He specifically talks about how he likes you. Out of nowhere, he just said, "You know what? "Jay's an inspiration. " There's no way he said that. Also, just can't stand him. Okay, fine. Craig Robinson. Never met him. He's hilarious. Sweats a lot, but he's a great guy. So it's gonna be fun, man.
This Is the End
59s
Emma! It's Emma. Oh, my God, you guys are alive. You're actually alive. Thank God! I hid in a drainpipe for days. Like, three or four. I don't even know how many. And then I stopped hearing people, and I started hearing growling noises. Out there, in your travels, uh, did you see anything that you would describe as Apocalyptish? I mean, no, but, uh, I would say it's completely obvious what's going on here. I mean, it's a zombie invasion. Fuck! I'm the one who said it's been zombies. You said zombies? I said zombies the whole time. You said zombies? I don't think... You never said zombies. Wait a second. You guys haven't been proven right. These are still just theories. Honestly, I'm just so relieved that you guys are here, and I'm very happy about the idea of sleeping and just... You tired? Yeah. If you want to take a little rest, you're welcome to do that upstairs. Thank you. Cool. - I'll show you the way. - Thank you. Thanks, guys. Seriously, you're awesome, really. You're awesome.
This Is the End