Oh, hell, man, stay in L.A. Give it what fer next pilot season. Nah, nah. I'm... I'm... I'm too insecure now to score come pilot season. Screen Gems ain't gonna have nothing good to say about me. - You know that. - Shit. You made Bounty Law. Nobody's gonna forgive me for that last season. - No matter what I do... - Ah... ...I'm always gonna be the horse's ass that got Bounty Law canceled because I wanted some fucking rinky-dink movie career. [SCOFFS] - Tom. My friend. - I met him? No, you haven't met him. You won't meet him because I don't think - you'd like him. - Why? SHARON: Well... [FILM COMMERCIAL] - SHARON: Don't even joke. - A joke? But they're scared.
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[SIGHS]
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OFFICER 4: Hermann! [CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY] Open the curtains.
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VALET: Ticket, señor?
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[SHRIEKING]
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[♪♪♪] - [GUNSHOT] - [MAN GROANING]
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[♪♪♪]
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JAY: Hello? Hey. I'm Jay Sebring. I'm a friend of the Polanskis. You're Rick Dalton, right? [CHUCKLING] Yeah. Yeah. I'm Rick Dalton. - Live next door. - Oh, I know. I tease Sharon that she lives next door to Jake Cahill. If she ever wants to put a bounty on Roman, she just has to go next door, right? [LAUGHS] No shit. What the fuck happened? Oh, th-these fucking hippie weirdos, they-they-they broke into my house. What do you mean, like, trying to rob you? We don't know what the fuck they wanted. Were they robbing me? I don't know. Were they freaking out on some bummer trip? Who knows? But they tried to kill my wife and my buddy. - Jesus Christ. Are you serious? - Yeah, I'm fucking serious. Now, my buddy and his dog killed two of them, and then... Well, shit. I-I torched the last one. - "Torched"? - Yeah. I burnt her ass to a crisp. - How'd you do that? - Well, believe it or not, I... I got a flamethrower in my toolshed. Oh, from The Fourteen Fists of McCluskey. Yeah! [LAUGHS] Yeah. Yeah. That's... That's the one. Yeah, it still works too. Thank God. Is everybody okay? Well, the fucking hippies aren't, that's for goddamn sure. Yeah. But I'm fine. You know, my wife's fine. We're just a little shook up, is all. - Oh, my God, that's terrifying. - Yeah. SHARON [ON SPEAKER]: Jay, honey, is everything all right? Everything's okay now, honey. But some hippies broke into the house next door. SHARON: Oh, my God. Oh, that's terrifying. Is everybody okay? I'm talking to your next-door neighbor about it right now. SHARON: Rick Dalton?
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[SCREAMS]
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NARRATOR: Somewhere around 11:10, Sharon changed into her comfy house attire. - Feel better? - [SPUTTERS, SIGHS] That is drastically better.