Found 636 results
1m11s
MAN: I'mma tell you what the big lie is. [ESCAPEPLAYING ON RADIO] Toilet paper. What's so bad about toilet paper? Gets the job done. Does it really get the job done? All right. Say you wake up tomorrow morning... and, hypothetically, find some fresh shit on your face. Your cheek, maybe a little bit in the beard. What the hell? I'm about to be fucking sick! What do you do? Do you go to a bathroom and tear off a piece of dry tissue... and rub it around on your beard a little bit and then go on, get on with your day? Go to church, maybe dinner and a movie, like nothing happened? Where is this coming from, man? But something did happen. Your face smells like shit. Right? So what you would do, is you would get some soap, you'd get some hot water... and you would scrub the fucking shit out of your beard for 10 straight minutes. You could not scrub it enough. Are you trying to make me feel disgusting? I'm starting to feel... Toilet paper is a pretty fine appetizer. But, then... Huggies Natural Care wet wipes. That's your main course. They're soft, they're moist. They're for babies. Finally, one more pass with toilet paper, maybe clear out that excess moisture. Maybe treat yourself to a blow and go, if you can get you a hair dryer. Just about 30 seconds would do you good.
Deadpool 2
22.2s
Wade, Yukio. Yukio, Wade. What in the fuck knuckles is this? She's my girlfriend, you intolerant shit. Whoa! Pump the hate brakes, Fox & Friends. I'm just surprised anyone would date you. Especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. I like this guy. Give him a chance. It's great seeing you like this. [LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY] Yeah.
Deadpool 2
23.9s
[LAUGHING] [JACK BENNY SCATTING ON RADIO] [COMEDY SERIES PLAYING ON RADIO] THUG: [ON RADIO] Hey, bud. Bud. JACK: Huh? THUG: Got a match? JACK: Match? Yes, I have one right here. THUG: Don't make a move. This is a stick-up. JACK: What? THUG: You heard me. JACK: Mister, Mister, put down that gun. THUG: Shut up. Now, come on. Your money or your life? [SNIFFS] [AUDIENCE LAUGHING ON RADIO]
Deadpool 2