Found 1582 results

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(GROANS)

Deadpool

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You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. They're jeans, not a chandelier. P.S. I'm keeping your wallet. You did kinda give it to me. Okay, just look, man, can I have my Sam's card... I will shoot your fucking cat!

Deadpool

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10.1s
Because she knows you. Jeremy, I belong to a group of guys who take a dime to beat a fella down. And little Meghan, she's not made of money, but lucky for her... I got a soft spot.

Deadpool

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Threats hurt, Jer. Though not nearly as badly as serrated steel. So keep away from Meghan. Cool? Yes, sir. Then we're done.

Deadpool

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7.2s
I'm here for you. On. (CHUCKLES) Okay, wow, dodged a big-time bullet onthatone. Not out of the woods yet. (GROANS)

Deadpool

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I don't really know what that means. I don't have a cat.

Deadpool

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Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in?

Deadpool

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(GROANING LOUDLY)

Deadpool

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But I'm a... A stalker.

Deadpool

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(GROANING)

Deadpool

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(GROANS)

Deadpool

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Anyhoo, tell me something... what situation isn't improved by pizza? Do you happen to know a Meghan Orflosky? Getting that right? Orflosky? Orlovsky? Yeah? Good.

Deadpool

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That is a no go on the tiperoo, Jer. I'm not here for him.

Deadpool

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Pineapple and olive?

Deadpool

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And yeah, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that's exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right... I gotta take you back to long before I squeezed this ass into red spandex.

Deadpool

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WADE: I did! (TOILET FLUSHING)

Deadpool

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Then who placed the call?

Deadpool

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12.2s
MERCHANT: Look, would it help if I slow it down for you? I didn't order the pizza. Is this 7348 Red Ledge Drive? Are you Mr. Merchant? Yeah, the Mr. Merchant who didn't order the fucking pie!

Deadpool