Oh, hey, listen, try this. I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that.
Ted
33.9s
Just a man with a man's courage He knows nothing but a man But he can never fail No one but the pure in heart Can find the golden grail How you doing? Good to meet you.
Ted
5.8s
Ted! I'm alive, Johnny! Oh, my God! I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!
Ted
3.4s
No. That's a weird fucking question. No, just start counting.
Ted
1.2s
(PANTING)
Ted
1.2s
Johnny!
Ted
1.4s
Teddy?
Ted
12.4s
NORAH: Thank you. Now, I'm going to give my chops a rest and bring a friend up to the stage. He's going to sing a song to a special lady in the audience who he loves very much. Please give a big hand to John Bennett.
Ted
13.5s
He knows he screwed up huge but you've got to believe me it wasn't all his fault. I told him to bail on you that night at Rex's and he said, "No." He said "no," he was going to stay there with you, and I twisted his arm, Lori.
Ted
5.9s
They said they got separated and one of them had his foot stuck under a rock for like, five days. Wow. Mmm.
Ted
4.5s
Yes. But that doesn't mean we can't hang out. We'll hang out all the time.
Ted
2.2s
You know what? Fuck you. I don't even want to talk to you.
Ted
1.5s
Sorry.
Ted
15s
(SINGING) Oh, my little sixpence My pretty little sixpence Stop it. Knock it off. I love my sixpence Better than my life Stop it! Fuck! Why you got to take it to that place? You took it to a very... Now it's real. Now it's a real thing. Come on. Take it easy. All right, look, let's just find a better place to get stoned.
Ted
12.9s
Octopussy. (GASPS) Baby! Gold star. And, by the way, my dancing was not that bad. It was pretty bad. I have cool moves. Yeah, so do people with Parkinson's. That's not how I remember it. Okay, how do you remember it?
Ted
8.5s
That's the new checkout girl. Don't know her name. Seems cute. Yeah, very cute. Do you know what I'd like to do to her? Something I call a Dirty Fozzie.
Ted
4s
Look, I'm sorry, I messed up... John, I need you out of the apartment tonight.
