You know, you guys, it's really not about that. I don't care about that. I mean, I'd love him if he was a janitor. I mean, he has a huge heart and we laugh a lot. It's just a bonus that he's the hottest guy in Boston. I don't know. I just wish he would get his life together. Our life. And he can't. And, I swear to God, it is because of that bear. You should give him an ultimatum. It's you or the bear.
Ted
3.7s
(JOHN ROARS) (LAUGHS) JOHN: Who lives here? I'm coming to get whoever lives here.
Ted
1.9s
(MUFFLED ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Ted
2.4s
In the corner, there is a shit!
Ted
1.2s
(GASPS) Ooh!
Ted
1.4s
Teddy?
Ted
12.2s
What are you, five years old? JOHN: Yeah. But I read at a six-year-old level, so... (LAUGHING) Sir, and madam, here is your dessert and champagne.
Ted
5.5s
Welcome home. Yeah, it's kind of funny, actually. I got a lot of pictures of you guys at my house.
Ted
4.9s
Johnny. You're going to be okay, buddy. Do you understand? You're going to be fine.
Ted
3.7s
She's the most important... (COUGHING)
Ted
2.3s
You got a lot of problems, don't you?
Ted
1.2s
(RIPPING)
Ted
1.5s
Hello?
Ted
28s
No, John. We can get her back. Look, you remember when you were 10, and you hit that squirrel with your BB gun? And then when we saw it fall from the tree, we both started crying, you remember? And then we ran up to it and we tried to give it CPR, and it came back to life. John, we could do that again. Ted, we crushed its ribcage and blew out its lungs trying to give it CPR. It died.
Ted
7.5s
What do you mean "girlfriends"? Was there a lot of them or something? No, that's not what she meant at all. Right, Lori? Lori, you didn't mean that. No, no,no.
Ted
5.4s
REX: That was insane. Did you see the way the guy's body hit the ground? He was like a ragdoll.
Ted
3.7s
They found the missing hikers. They did? Yeah. What happened?
Ted
4.3s
This song always reminds me of the most important night of my life.