I look stupid. No you don't. You look dapper. I don't. I look like Snuggle's accountant. Come on, it's not that bad. John, I look like something you give your kid when you tell him Grandma died. Look, I know it sucks, okay? But you've got to make some money so you can pay for an apartment. I don't want to work at a grocery store. Yeah, but you have no skills. I told you, I can totally be a lawyer.
Ted
5.2s
Uh... Cocaine, right? Come on, dudes. Don't tell me you never done it before.
Ted
4.5s
Lori, will you marry me?
Ted
2.7s
(FARTING) Finally.
Ted
2s
You can thank Ted.
Ted
1.4s
(TED GRUNTING)
Ted
1.8s
It's a miracle.
Ted
1.4s
(STAMMERS)
Ted
11.5s
Up the dog's ass, right? Yeah, up the dog's, not the fireman's ass. I thought the fireman stuck his own finger up his own ass. No, I don't think a firefighter would do that. Go, take care of it. Let me know how she is. Thank you. Go.
Ted
9.6s
Ted, you've arrived at a lucky time. It's almost Robert's play hour. Yeah, I'm guessing you guys don't have a PS3. I'm guessing you're more of a "wooden horse with a wig" kind of family.
Ted
4.1s
Oh, hey, listen, try this. I told my weed guy to step it up and he gave me that.
Ted
3.7s
They found the missing hikers. They did? Yeah. What happened?
Ted
4.2s
Well, it's not true, okay? I'm a classy broad. (LAUGHING) Yeah.
