NARRATOR: But through all the fame, Teddy never forgot his very best friend, John. The thunder can't get us, right? Nope, we're thunder buddies, and the thunder knows it. We're totally safe. (THUNDER RUMBLING)
Ted
1.4s
Than falling...
Ted
7.2s
You know, you had no business being out on that dance floor, but I'm really happy that you were. (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
Ted
6.8s
Check this out. That's me on the high school diving team. We dove the shit out of that pool that year.
Ted
6.2s
Dude, one man to another. I got you on this. Thank you. I'll be back.
Ted
2.7s
Isn't love enough? I submit that love is enough.
Ted
2.4s
(SCREAMING) (DISHES SHATTERING) Jesus H. Fuck!
Ted
16.2s
A-E-I-O-U See? There, proof. Garfield's eyes look like a pair of tits. You were right. If you can punch through this wall, you really are Flash Gordon. Are you going to do it? I'm going to punch through it. Come on, Sam, do it! Do it!
Ted
7.5s
I know. And we'll hang out all the time, right? All the time. Fuck it. Bring it in. Come here. Bring it in, you bastard. Come on.
Ted
2.7s
It's a Christmas miracle.
Ted
1.2s
(LAUGHING)
Ted
13.9s
You know something? I didn't tie you up and drag you to that party. I wanted you to come because you're supposedly my best friend. You can't stand there and tell me that you haven't always seen Lori as a threat to our friendship. It works out so much better for you when you and I are getting fucked up on the couch at 9:00 a.m., doesn't it?
Ted
4.4s
All right, Kareem! (GLASS SHATTERING) Ah! You suck, Kareem.
Ted
6.9s
I hear the fat kid running. I hear the fat kid running. I bet it's hilarious. Let me out of here! I am a citizen of the United States of America and I have rights! (GRUNTS)
Ted
3.2s
I just farted. That was a man fart. (GIGGLES)
Ted
6s
What? Do you know what just happened? Do you have any clue? My fucking life just ended!
Ted
1.4s
Hey.
Ted
9.5s
You would? I sure would. Is that cannibalism? No, I think it's only cannibalism if you swallow. Oh, yeah, no! Don't worry about that, because I don't swallow.
