Found 722 results

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You're right.

Ted

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16.5s
What a cunt. Ow! I hate that word! What? That word. It's so sharp, it's like an electric sword slashing everything in its path. Why would you say that? You didn't exactly stand up for me. I'm trying to walk a line, here. I want to be fair to you and to him, you know? I think you're being a little more fair to him. Oh, come on.

Ted

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In the corner, there is a shit!

Ted

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You can thank Ted.

Ted

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I'm coming.

Ted

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Rex is fine. He only hit on me once today, so, it's a good thing.

Ted

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Lori, will you marry me?

Ted

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There she is. I was worried you weren't coming. Hey, squirt, how you doing? Where's your bunny rabbit?

Ted

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(SQUEALS EXCITEDLY) He acknowledged it. Let's do some shots. With you? Ch, my God, yes! Ch, my God, yes! Let's go!

Ted

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Rex, I don't think it's smart. I'm an asshole, I know that. It worked for me in high school, and it's been a reflex ever since.

Ted

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What are you, five years old? JOHN: Yeah. But I read at a six-year-old level, so... (LAUGHING) Sir, and madam, here is your dessert and champagne.

Ted

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And we're in love.

Ted

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I love you, too, Teddy.

Ted

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Hey, GUYS, can I play? Get out of here, Bennett. Get lost, Bennett! Get out of here, Bennett! Yeah, Bennett get lost.

Ted

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And for little John Bennett, Christmas Day brought a very special new arrival.

Ted

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Well, as it does every year, Christmas morning finally came.

Ted

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You know, I wish you could really talk to me. Because then, we could be best friends forever and ever.

Ted

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Wow! (JOHN'S DAD CHUCKLES) I guess Santa paid attention to how good you were this year, huh? Aw! Merry Christmas, John.

Ted