Ted Clubberlang Comedy Clear all

Found 1507 results

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Johnny, wake up!

Ted 2

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Think about what happened at Fenway. You remember? You out me open, that's it! I'm gone, dead!

Ted 2

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You know, lam a little bit curious. How is it that a guy like you is unattached?

Ted 2

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So what do ya say? You'd really be helping me and Tami out.

Ted 2

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MAN: Whoa.

Ted 2

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No problem. We're a fun hospital.

Ted 2

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Do you understand? (WHISPERS) Yes, I do.

Ted 2

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(CROWD MURMURING)

Ted 2

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Johnny, you got to wake up, pal.

Ted 2

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(LAUGHS) All right, all right.

Ted 2

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My turn, assholes!

Ted 2

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Your cat? Your toaster? (SOFT CHUCKLE)

Ted 2

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And as history has shown us, that waswtjustice.

Ted 2

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(SIGHS)

Ted 2

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TED: A-ha! I fucking knew it!

Ted 2

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(GRUNTS)

Ted 2

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Hey, you shut the fuck up! Why don't you come down and make me, tough guy? Yeah, why don't you come up here and make me come down there, tough guy? I am gonna come up there and I'm gonna kick your fucking ass! Yeah, why don't you try it, asshole? Get your ass up here and kick my ass! (SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE) Shut the fuck up, you stupid bitch! Hey, shut up, lady! Run the fuck back to Russia, you whore! Get the fuck out of here! People are trying to sleep! God damn it! Shut the fuck up!

Ted 2

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In those images, Ted exhibits all of the remaining qualities of personhood.

Ted 2