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17.3s

Hey, congrats, you mofos. Oh, hey, GUY- Beautiful ceremony. Oh. Thank you so much for being a part of it. Hey, this is my new boyfriend, Rick. How you doing? Good, good. He's a gourmet chef. So he knows how to toss a salad. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Ted 2

27.8s

TED: Hey, buddy. You okay, there? You look a little down. Are you still shaking off that hangover from the bachelor party? Oh! That's nice. Oh, my God. She's fucking begging for it! (LAUGHS) She's totally begging. Get it. Get in there. Look at her. She wants it bad! JOHN: Oh, yeah. She wants more than just a fucking pizza delivery, huh? (MEN LAUGHING) TED: That's bigger than the average bear right there, I tell you. JOHN: You know what's fucked up? Dude, that's somebody's fucking daughter! MAN: Oh, shit! Jesus! Come on!

Ted 2

6.8s

Oh, you guys are getting married? No, we're just gonna go home and tie our dioks together. Ha! Fuck you. Fuck you. Deal.

Ted 2

2.4s

Rick and I are actually about to tie the knot.

Ted 2

2.2s

Being back in that church again.

Ted 2

1.5s

(ALL CHEERING)

Ted 2

1.5s

(GLASS BREAKS)

Ted 2

28.2s

MALE NARRATOR: We are often told that happily-ever-afters exist only in the pages of fairy tales and in the naive minds of sheltered innocents. And yet, on this bright, sunny, Boston afternoon, a talking teddy bear is about to marry his girlfriend, proving two things. Happy endings can come true for anyone. And America doesn't give a shit about anything.

Ted 2

16.8s

I do. SAM: And do you, Ted, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? Fuckin' A right, I do! (GIGGLES) Then, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bear.

Ted 2

6.9s

Oh, Johnny, come on, man. It's been six months since you guys got divorced. I know, I know. It's just that...

Ted 2

1.2s

Thank you.

Ted 2

2.7s

Teddy, this is the best day of my life!

Ted 2

8.2s

I mean, everything seemed like it was gonna be so perfect. Yeah. Well, you're not the first guy to marry the wrong girl. Hey, hey! Big day, huh, bud?

Ted 2

6.4s

Do you, Tami-Lynn McCafferty, take this teddy bear to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Ted 2

25.6s

Yeah, I'm gonna pass. (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) (SINGING) I'm steppin' out with my honey Can't be bad to feel so good Never felt quite so sunny So I keep on knockin' wood Yeah, steppin' out with my baby Can't go wrong 'cause I'm in right Ask me when will the day be The big day may be tonight TED: This is the best day of my life!

Ted 2

4.1s

WEDDING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, your newlyweds! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

Ted 2

3.2s

I'm fine. I was thinking aboutLofi.

Ted 2

2.4s

Let's go get shit-faced! Okay!

Ted 2

Found 1507 results

Hey, congrats, you mofos. Oh, hey, GUY- Beautiful ceremony. Oh. Thank you so much for being a part of it. Hey, this is my new boyfriend, Rick. How you doing? Good, good. He's a gourmet chef. So he knows how to toss a salad. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

Oh, you guys are getting married? No, we're just gonna go home and tie our dioks together. Ha! Fuck you. Fuck you. Deal.

Rick and I are actually about to tie the knot.

Being back in that church again.

(ALL CHEERING)

(GLASS BREAKS)

I do. SAM: And do you, Ted, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? Fuckin' A right, I do! (GIGGLES) Then, by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bear.

Oh, Johnny, come on, man. It's been six months since you guys got divorced. I know, I know. It's just that...

Thank you.

Teddy, this is the best day of my life!

I mean, everything seemed like it was gonna be so perfect. Yeah. Well, you're not the first guy to marry the wrong girl. Hey, hey! Big day, huh, bud?

Do you, Tami-Lynn McCafferty, take this teddy bear to be your lawfully wedded husband?

WEDDING ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, your newlyweds! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I'm fine. I was thinking aboutLofi.

Let's go get shit-faced! Okay!