The only problem is I don't know how my life works without you.
Ted 2
4.4s
You could change your relationship status from "single" to "it's complicated."
Ted 2
2.2s
You're gonna have to do a lot better than that. (SNIFFLING)
Ted 2
2.1s
I got you, motherfucker! (ALL SCREAMING)
Ted 2
2.6s
You were my thunder buddy for life.
Ted 2
20.6s
You son of a bitch! That was fucking classic! Wait, wait, wait. This is payback because I made you think that I was retarded! You made me think you were retarded! Oh! Well done! Well done, man. High five. (LAUGHING) High five. What the fuck is going on? What's going on, is this guy just won the bullshit comedy blue ribbon. You are the fucking greatest, man. Holy shit!
Ted 2
2.1s
You were my thunder buddy.
Ted 2
1.6s
Goodbye, John.
Ted 2
3.6s
God damn it! (ALARM BLARING) Ah! Oh, shit!
Ted 2
31.7s
Oh, my God! (SOBS) I have a disease, all right? I need help! There are no chicks with dicks, Johnny! Only guys with tits! Oh, this is such a relief! I'm so glad I'm finally caught. I wanted to be caught! Johnny, now you listen to me. This is a wake-up call, all right? You got to get back out there and meet somebody because you are spiraling out of control here. All right, fine, I will. Just stop looking at that shit, please! Johnny, I mean it. All right? The next chick you meet, you are getting back in the game. Fine, I got it. Done. All right. Now, let's get rid of this. What do you mean? We'll just delete the files! No,no,no. That shit can always be recovered. We got to smash your laptop with a hammer.
Ted 2
2.3s
You just can't help but sing along.
Ted 2
3s
Johnny. Johnny, wake up!
Ted 2
1.4s
Get off me!
Ted 2
3.7s
What if I gave you a hand job outside your pants while you ate an ice cream?
Ted 2
8.6s
Hey, 2O bucks I can toss a Cookie Crisp into his ass crack. Wait, let me try. I used to pitch for the softball team at Arizona State. Oh, yeah? Was your mascot a broken condom?
Ted 2
1.3s
Ted!
Ted 2
5.8s
He just reminds me of when I was a kid. Yeah, that's great. $40. Okay.
Ted 2
5.4s
But if we suddenly decide to share that gift, where does that lead us?