Found 1507 results
25.3s
NARRATOR: It has been said that magic vanished from our world a long time ago, and that humanity can no longer fulfill its desires through the power of wishes. To those who have lost the wondrous vision of childhood eyes, submitted here is the story of a little boy and a magical Christmas wish that changed his life forever.
Ted
37.8s
I don't know. I dig chicks, man. I don't remember any of it. I was so fucked up. I might be gay, I don't know. Do you mind covering for me for a bit? I might go lay down in the john. Hey, buddies. Where is it hanging? Hey, Alix, what's up? You get in the club last night? I didn't get in because the bouncer was douche-face. But I made friends in the line. That's good, I guess. Hey, guys, anybody know a nice restaurant, like something where they give out free bubblegum in the bathrooms? For what? Lori and I have been dating four years tomorrow. I want to take her someplace really nice. Aw, congratulations, John. GUY: You guys have been going out for four years? My longest relationship was like six months and then she farted in her sleep. I'm like, "I'm out of here, man." I was gone before she woke up.
Ted
17.9s
(COUGHS) Jesus, this is weak. It's not even getting me high. I got to have a talk with my weed guy. It's working for me. I think it sucks. I'm going to have a talk with him. I don't know that you want to go to a drug dealer with complaints. No. I know this guy a long time. I've known him since 9/11. You remember? I was, like, "Oh, shit, 9/11. I got to get high."
Ted