Okay. You hide first. Great. Fantastic. Okay, now you count to 100, and then you try to find me, okay? Okay.
Ted
1.4s
(SINGING)
Ted
2.4s
Should I sit?
Ted
1.4s
John“.
Ted
2.3s
What did I do?
Ted
1.5s
(ENGINE REVVING)
Ted
1.3s
Yes!
Ted
6.8s
Check this out. That's me on the high school diving team. We dove the shit out of that pool that year.
Ted
1.2s
Yeah.
Ted
4.9s
Why would you? I've been a really shitty boyfriend for the last four years. I don't deserve you.
Ted
1.2s
JOHN: Jesus.
Ted
9s
Just go out with me one time. And if you're miserable and you hate it then I promise I will never even hint at the subject again.
Ted
2.2s
Uh, no, no, I'm not.
Ted
1.2s
Hey.
Ted
11.5s
You had sexual intercourse with a co-worker on top of the produce that we sell to the public. I fucked her with a parsnip last week and I sold the parsnip to a family with four small children.
Ted
1.3s
You're hired.
Ted
16.4s
By the power vested in me by the New York Jets and by the united peoples of the planet Mongo, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride, Johnny.
