Found 1049 results
31.8s
Hey, you think I should wear this shirt to Stifler's party? You've worn that shirt for, like, three days in a row, man! Guys. She said it. - Said what? - She said she loves me. - Holy shit, dude! The "L" word? - Oh, man! Cornell's not that far from "U" of "M." Yeah, it's only, like, seven hours. Oh, and you get to drive across Canada. - Beautiful country. - Whatever. It's doable. Wh-What we should do today, in band. Instead of playing our instruments regularly, we should play them backwards. - That'll be so funny! - Yeah.
American Pie
29.6s
Now, the sex: It's got to be valid, consensual sex. - No prostitutes. That's what you're thinkin', Finch. Busted. So, basically, prom is our last chance. - Oh, dude. Prom sucks. - I know, but you gotta think about it this way. I mean, all the parties afterwards? The chicks are going to want to do it. - Yeah-yeah, he's right. It's, like tradition or something. - The Rose Bowl. - So, that gives us... - Exactly three weeks to the day.
American Pie
1m9s
Ohh, you're so good. Ohh, yes. I am the best, baby. - Oh, yeah! - Oh. Oh, that was a tit. That is a tit! Yes! Oh, you're so big! Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right, baby. - Oh, doggie wants to hide his bone. - Yes! Oh, yeah! I'm bone smugglin', baby. Man, would you shut up! Hey, Jimmy. Just wanted to say sweet dreams. Yeah, yeah. Sweet dreams. Good night, Mom. Kiss good night. - Something wrong with the reception? - Uh, yeah. Yeah. - There's... There's this nature show that I'm trying to watch. - Take it off. - And the birds are all scrambled and I can't even... - Do me! Yes! Baby! Ride me like a pony! - The thing must be broken or I sat on the remote or something. - Getting ready for bed, son? - Yup, I'm all set, Dad. I'm all set. - Yeah? - No! No, I think he's tried to watch some illegal channels. - Illegal... Illegal channels? - This is just bad reception, honey. - Oh, spank my hairy ass! - What's that? - Ooh, baby! - You know what? Here. Just give me this, please... - Oh, my God! - And let's get this... Okay, okay. Let's, uh... What the hell's the matter with this thing? Yes! Yes!
American Pie
46.3s
Laid-back Jim... or... Cool, hip Jim? I don't think it really matters with that shirt you're wearing. What? Correct me if I'm wrong but you're the one with the girlfriend... and you're still stranded on third base. Hey, at least I know what third base feels like, okay? - You're still just a batboy. - Batboy. Batboy. What are you talking about? Guys, uh... What exactly does third base feel like? You wanna take this one? - Like warm apple pie. - Yeah? - Yeah. Apple pie, huh? McDonald's or homemade? Gentlemen, destiny awaits.
American Pie
22.8s
No offense, but you're talking about a post-high school, long-distance relationship. And you and Kevin haven't even done it yet. That's not why we're going out. What do you expect him to drive to Cornell for? Milk and cookies? We're gonna have sex when he's ready and I'm ready. It's got to be completely perfect. I want the right time, the right moment, the right place... Vicky, it's not a space shuttle launch. It's sex.
American Pie
22.3s
You dipshit! You're expecting to score with some... goody-goody choirgirl priss? These chicks don't know me. I can work the sensitive angle here, fellas! You know, it's just like that college chick told me. All that you gotta do is just ask 'em questions... and listen to what they have to say and shit. I don't know, man. That sounds like a lot of work!
American Pie
18.8s
Illegal channels? Shit! If there's any channel that should be illegal, it's that "all-woman's" channel. - Lifetime supply of pantyhose or some shit. - Yeah. Hey, uh, did you see The Little Mermaid on TV the other night? - No. - Ariel, man. She's so hot! - She's a mermaid, dude. - Yeah, Oz. But not when she's on land.
American Pie
53.2s
- Finch. - Here's the man we are looking for. - Gentlemen. - What's goin' on, buddy? - Gentlemen. - What's goin' on, buddy? - Same ol'... - Finch. You got the Latin homework? Oh. It means, "My dog ate it." It's Latin. It's a joke. - It's a Latin joke. - Yeah, Latin. Just drink your coffee. - No, Jim, it's mochaccino. - What? What I'm drinking, it's mochaccino. It's not coffee. 'Nova! What's up, dude? You comin' to the party tonight, Ozzie, you fuckface? Uh, depends if my date wants to stop by. - I'm workin' on somethin' new. - I got an idea about something new. How about you guys actually locate your dicks, remove the shrink-wrap and fucking use them! Dude, it's gonna happen. She's a college chick. Oh, right. I'll see you guys tonight. I'll look for you in the no-fucking section.
American Pie
47.4s
Fellas! What's goin' on? Fellas! What's goin' on? Sherman. Not much. Just, uh, scopin' the babes. Indeed! Some fine ladies here, boys. Confidence is high. Repeat. Confidence is high. Sherman is movin' to DEFCON 2. - Full strategic arsenal ready for deployment. - Hey! You have somethin' goin' tonight, Sherman? You see that Central chick, Bernette? - Um, no. - No. She's around. Seems she's taken a liking to me. Fellas, it's time she experienced... the Shermanator. Yeah, okay, Sherman. Whatever. I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time... to change the future for one lucky lady. - Go get 'em, tiger. I'll be back!
American Pie