Found 333 results
1m31s
I, the royal we. You know. The editorial... I dropped off the money exactly as per... Look, man, I've got certain information. All right? Certain things have come to light and... You know, has it ever occurred to you that instead of, you know, running around, blaming me... You know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, this could be a lot more complex... I mean, it's not just... It might not be just such a simple... You know? What in God's holy name are you blathering about? Well, I'll tell you what I'm blathering about. I've got information, man. New shit has come to light. And, shit, man, she kidnapped herself. Well, sure, man. Look at it. You know? A young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know. She owes money all over town, including to known pornographers. And that's cool. That's cool. I'm saying she needs money, man. And, you know, of course they're gonna say they didn't get it because she wants more, man. She's gotta feed the monkey. I mean... Hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?
The Big Lebowski
1m7s
We didn't... They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! What the fuck are you talking about? The poor woman, that poor slut kidnapped herself. Come on, Dude. You said so yourself. Man, I said I thought she kidnapped herself. You're the one who's so fucking certain. That's right, Dude. 100% certain. They posted the next round for the tournament. Donny, shut the fuck... When do we play? This Saturday. Quintana and... Saturday? Well, they'll have to reschedule. Walter, what am I gonna tell Lebowski? I told that fuck down at the league office. V\Iho's in charge of scheduling? Walter! Burkhalter. I told that kraut a fucking thousand times, I don't roll on shabbos! Walter! They already posted it. Well, they can fucking un-post it! Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! What am I gonna tell Lebowski? Come on, Dude. Eventually she'll get tired of her little game and, you know, wander on back. How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter? I'm shomer shabbos. What's that, Walter? Yeah, and in the meantime, what do I tell Lebowski? Saturday, Donny, is shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven and I sure as shit don't fucking roll! Sheesh. Shomer shabbos!
The Big Lebowski
1m19s
You just tell him... Tell him we made the drop and everything went, you know... Oh, yeah. How'd it go? Went all right. Dude's car got a little dinged up. Walter, we didn't make the fucking hand-off, man! They didn't get the fucking money! And they're gonna... They're gonna... They're gonna kill that poor woman. They're gonna kill that poor woman! Walter, if you can't ride in a car, then how do you get around on shabbos? Really, Dude, you surprise me. They're not gonna kill shit. They're not gonna do shit. What can they do to her? Bunch of fucking amateurs. And meanwhile, look at the bottom line. Who's sitting on a million fucking dollars? Am I wrong? Walter. V\Iho's got a fucking million fucking dollars sitting in the trunk of our oar? Our car, Walter? And what do they got? My dirty undies. My fucking whites! SaY,Dude? Where is your car? Who's got your undies, Walter? Where's your car, Dude? You don't know, Walter? It was parked in a handicap zone. Perhaps they towed it. You fucking know it's been stolen. Well, certainly that's a possibility, Dude. Oh, fuck it. Where you going, Dude? I'm going home, Donny. Phone's ringing, Dude. Thank you, Donny!
The Big Lebowski
28.2s
We can't do that, Dude. That fucks up our plan. Well, call them up and explain it to them, Walter. Your plan is so fucking simple, I'm sure they'll fucking understand it. That's the beauty of it. Wooden bfidge,huh? Throw them the money, Walter. We're not fucking around, man. Okay, Dude, the bridge is coming up. Give me the ringer, chop-chop. Fuck that. Walter, I love you, but sooner or later you're gonna have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron. Okay, Dude. No time to argue. Hey, man! Here's the bridge. Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter! Here goes the ringer!
The Big Lebowski
1m24s
My only hope is that the big Lebowski kills me before the Germans can cut my dick off. Leads! Now, that is just ridiculous, Dude. No one's going to cut your dick off. Thank you, Walter. Not if I have anything to say about it. Thank you, Walter. That makes me feel very secure. Dude? That makes me feel very warm inside, man. Dude? This whole fucking thing. I could be sitting here with just pee stains on my rug. But no, man, I got a, you know... Yeah. Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis. They were Nazis, Dude? Oh, come on, Donny. They were threatening castration! Uh-huh. Are we gonna split hairs here? No. Am I wrong? Well, he didn't... Man, they were nihilists, man. They kept saying they believed in nothing. Nihilists. Fuck me. I mean, say what you want about the tenets of national socialism, Dude. At least it's an ethos. Yeah. And, also, let's not forget... Let's not forget, Dude, that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for, you know, domestic... Within the city... That ain't legal, either. What are you, a fucking park ranger now? No! I'm just trying to... Who gives a shit about the fucking marmot? e are sympathmng here, Dude. Fuck sympathy. I don't need your fucking sympathy, man. I need my fucking johnson.
The Big Lebowski
23.5s
You think we are kidding or making with the funny stuff? We could do things you haven't dreamed of, Lebowski. Ja, we believes in nothing. V\Ie believes in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing! And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your johnson. Excuse me? I said, we cut off yourjohnson! Just think about that, Lebowski. Your Wiggly penis, Lebowski. Ja. Maybe we stomp on it and squish it.
The Big Lebowski
38.7s
Whose toe was it, Walter? How the fuck should I know? I do know that nothing about it indicates... The nail polish, Walter. Fine, Dude. As if it's impossible to get some nail polish, apply it to someone else's toe... Someone else... Pinking shears. Where the fuck are they gonna get... You want a toe? I can get you a toe. Believe me, there are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Yeah, but, Walter... Hell, I could get you a toe by 3:00 this afternoon with nail polish. These fucking amateurs. Walter... They send us a toe, we're supposed to shit ourselves with fear. Jesus Christ! Walter... The point is... They're gonna kill her, Walter, and then they're gonna kill me. Dude, that's...
The Big Lebowski
1m4s
As for this kidnapping. Huh? Yes, I know all about it, and I know that you acted as courier. Let me tell you something. The whole thing stinks to high heaven. Yeah, right, but let me explain something about the rug. Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski? Excuse me? Sex, the physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it? I was talking about my rug. You're not interested in sex? You mean coitus? I like it, too. It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. However, there are some people, it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women, who engage in it compulsively and without joy. Oh, no. Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski. These unfortunate souls cannot love, in the true sense of the word. Our mutual acquaintance, Bunny, is one of these. Listen, Maude, I'm sorry if your stepmother is a nympho, but, you know, I don't see what this has to do with... You have any Kahlua? Take a look at this, sir.
The Big Lebowski
39.7s
That's just the stress talking, man. Now, so far we have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes. What about the toe? Forget about the fucking toe! Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This is a family restaurant. Oh, please! Dear, for your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint. Come on. Walter, this is not a First Amendment thing, man. Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. Lady, I got buddies who died face down in the muck so that you and I can enjoy this family restaurant! All right, I'm out of here. Hey, Dude, don't go away, man. Come on. This affects all of us, man! It's our basic freedoms!
The Big Lebowski