I'm in love, dude. Those must be the princesses you told yourself about at the Circle K. We gotta go. It's a history report, not a babe report. But, Bill... Those are historical babes. Okay. You're the ladies' man. How are we gonna meet them?
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Excellent!
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And watch So-crates.
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- What? - I'm Darth Ted.
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Of course, babes.
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- What? - Everyone is.
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...if you want to pass the course.
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- What are you doing home, Dad? - I'm looking for my keys. You haven't done anything with them? No, sir. I spoke to your principal today. - He said you're failing history. - Me and Bill... He also said that if you fail history, you flunk out of school. You know what that would mean, don't you? That I would have to go to Oates Military Academy, sir. I spoke to Col. Oates this morning. He's anxious to meet you.