Found 1582 results
58.5s
Number one, I'm gonna bend something. Something that was not meant to bend. I'm gonna stop you right there because I'm not gonna make it to two. I won't even make it to one. I don't do well with pain, you know. If I stub my toe, I'm done for the day. I cried when they canceled Felicity. When I get really scared, I get nervous erections. I have one right now. Don't look. It'll only make it worse. I don't want you to hurt me, and I'll tell you anything you wanna know. Except for where they are. Russell's in a convoy heading southbound on Gerry Duggan Parkway. The monster's with them. I wouldn't fuck with him. DEADPOOL: You all know the plan. Intercept the convoy, grab the boy. But not inappropriately! WEASEL: You know what, I wouldn't fuck with Deadpool either. Because he's built a team. He's unstoppable. He has an ass pen. He'll stab you with it. Watch out for this guy, Cable! He's very short, 5'11". Not like in the comics. And if we succeed, we all go home early. WEASEL: So if you go after them, Cable, I warn you... there's a wind advisory in effect.
Deadpool 2
45.8s
[WEASEL RETCHES] Why wouldn't you cover that up? A warrior has nothing to be ashamed of. WEASEL: Yeah, but you do. Look at you. You're just straight shirt-cocking it, toddler-style. Oh, yeah. Full Winnie the Pooh. The hell's happening? Describe it. I wouldn't ask him to do that, if I were you. WEASEL: It's like, um... Here we go. It's like he was giving birth anally, but they quit halfway through. They got the legs out, and they said, "You know what, I'm done." Happy? It's like he's a Muppet from the waist down. But this time, you can see the Muppet's dick. [DOOR OPENS] Grover's got a cock the size of a twig. DOPINDER: Mr. Weasel, I can no longer be double-parked. I've had three tickets already. [SCREAMS] No, no, no, DP, not again! This has happened before? [DOPINDER RETCHING] [DOOR OPENS] Jesus! Either vomit or don't. The indecision is killing me. Why couldn't God take my hearing?
Deadpool 2
16.5s
That's why! Told you this little fucker's too far gone. Zip it, Thanos! We have a deal and you fuck... [GROANS] JUGGERNAUT: Hey! I'm gonna shove that cab driver right up your ass. My body and my hands are so soft. You should probably head back to the car. I think I'll head back to the car.
Deadpool 2