Threats hurt, Jer. Though not nearly as badly as serrated steel. So keep away from Meghan. Cool? Yes, sir. Then we're done.
Deadpool
7.2s
I'm here for you. On. (CHUCKLES) Okay, wow, dodged a big-time bullet onthatone. Not out of the woods yet. (GROANS)
Deadpool
2.6s
I don't really know what that means. I don't have a cat.
Deadpool
1.9s
Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in?
Deadpool
1.2s
(GROANING LOUDLY)
Deadpool
2.1s
But I'm a... A stalker.
Deadpool
1.4s
(GROANING)
Deadpool
1.2s
(GROANS)
Deadpool
12.5s
Anyhoo, tell me something... what situation isn't improved by pizza? Do you happen to know a Meghan Orflosky? Getting that right? Orflosky? Orlovsky? Yeah? Good.
Deadpool
4.7s
That is a no go on the tiperoo, Jer. I'm not here for him.
Deadpool
1.5s
Pineapple and olive?
Deadpool
14s
And yeah, technically, this is a murder. But some of the best love stories start with a murder. And that's exactly what this is, a love story. And to tell it right... I gotta take you back to long before I squeezed this ass into red spandex.
Deadpool
2.9s
WADE: I did! (TOILET FLUSHING)
Deadpool
1.3s
Then who placed the call?
Deadpool
12.2s
MERCHANT: Look, would it help if I slow it down for you? I didn't order the pizza. Is this 7348 Red Ledge Drive? Are you Mr. Merchant? Yeah, the Mr. Merchant who didn't order the fucking pie!
Deadpool
18.8s
Sweet and salty. The fuck are you? The fuck you doing in my crib... Is it burnt crust? I... God, I hope not. Um... Whoa... Man, look, if this is about that poker game. I told Howie, I told him that... Okay, uh, look, just take whatever you want. Thanks.
Deadpool
10.9s
Should've brought my roller blades. Show these kids how it's done. Oh. And that's why we do it. But mostly the money. Hey, think you could fuck up my step-dad? I give a guy a pavement facial, it's because he's earned it.
Deadpool
7.4s
Hey, and I ain't taking any babysitting money, all right? Make sure that gets back to Ms... Orlovsky. Yeah, her. You sure? Hmm.
