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4.5s

All right now, I know kids can be mean.

The Edge of Seventeen

1.6s

[Krista giggling]

The Edge of Seventeen

21.9s

[Nadine narrating] Well, except for one part. I had Krista. This was last Friday. Look at me. I was in a good mood. -I love spoilers. -No. Yes, I do. That means I don't have to watch it. Then I can just know and move on with my life. I'll give you a hint. [humming "Here Comes the Bride"] I knew it. I knew it. They get married, yes.

The Edge of Seventeen

12.2s

That night I picked up some cheeseburgers with my dad. What do I have that's any good? Tell me. What have I ever had? You have a lot. You have love. You have my love. Very soon you're gonna have cheeseburgers. Oh, look.

The Edge of Seventeen

12.8s

[Nadine narrating] I'm not gonna depress you with the details. So... let's just say the next few years were complete shit. [alarm beeping] [beeping continues] [beeping stops] Oh, God.

The Edge of Seventeen

8.6s

Any time I ask you for anything, you're like, "Oh, you need help with something? Let me help you. I'm just playing. I'm gonna butt-fuck you some more."

The Edge of Seventeen

7s

I gonna be your other mom and take such good care of you. [Nadine narrating] I accidentally suffocated him two hours later in my pencil box.

The Edge of Seventeen

5.1s

[toilet flushes] But I had finally made my first friend.

The Edge of Seventeen

4.2s

Oh, my God. I knew it.

The Edge of Seventeen

1.6s

You want to hold him?

The Edge of Seventeen

2.6s

[mom sobbing]

The Edge of Seventeen

41.6s

[door closes] -Mm-hmm. -[cell phone buzzing] What? Dibs. Huh? -Dibs, dibs, dibs. -What are you even saying? Mom's fucking a dentist in Manzanita for two days, so I called dibs on the house. Ew. Bye. You are so sick for saying it like that. Mom's boobs are jangling around a dentist's face. See it, Darian. See Mom's titties all up in that dentist's face. - Ah-ah. -♪ Let's go ♪ ♪ And the man in the back said everyone attack ♪ ♪ And it turned into a ballroom blitz ♪ ♪ And the girl in the corner said, Boy, I want to warn you ♪ ♪ It'll turn into a ballroom blitz Ballroom blitz ♪ ♪ Ballroom blitz ♪ ♪ Ballroom blitz ♪ -Ow! -♪ Ballroom blitz ♪

The Edge of Seventeen

22.7s

[Nadine narrating] It turned out Krista's life wasn't perfect either. I'm walking away, okay? What am I, your mother? Am I supposed to babysit-- [Nadine narrating] But we got each other through. Play with this. We could play with Mrs. Penguin. Hee hee. [Nadine narrating] For the next few years, everything was magic. ♪ Jingle bells ♪ [Nadine narrating] And then, some extremely fucked-up shit happened.

The Edge of Seventeen

4.7s

Hi, guy. If you want, you can be his other mom with me.

The Edge of Seventeen

2.3s

But don't squash him.

The Edge of Seventeen

18.7s

We told each other things we never thought we'd say out loud. Once, my grandpa's pajama flap accidentally came open and I saw his wiener and got real sad. My mom has to take medicine or she'll get upset and buy too much at the mall. It's true. [both laughing]

The Edge of Seventeen

5.7s

[Nadine narrating] And then, out of the clear blue, an angel appeared. Can you move, please?

The Edge of Seventeen

2s

[laughs]

The Edge of Seventeen

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All right now, I know kids can be mean.

[Krista giggling]

That night I picked up some cheeseburgers with my dad. What do I have that's any good? Tell me. What have I ever had? You have a lot. You have love. You have my love. Very soon you're gonna have cheeseburgers. Oh, look.

[Nadine narrating] I'm not gonna depress you with the details. So... let's just say the next few years were complete shit. [alarm beeping] [beeping continues] [beeping stops] Oh, God.

Any time I ask you for anything, you're like, "Oh, you need help with something? Let me help you. I'm just playing. I'm gonna butt-fuck you some more."

I gonna be your other mom and take such good care of you. [Nadine narrating] I accidentally suffocated him two hours later in my pencil box.

[toilet flushes] But I had finally made my first friend.

Oh, my God. I knew it.

You want to hold him?

[mom sobbing]

Hi, guy. If you want, you can be his other mom with me.

But don't squash him.

We told each other things we never thought we'd say out loud. Once, my grandpa's pajama flap accidentally came open and I saw his wiener and got real sad. My mom has to take medicine or she'll get upset and buy too much at the mall. It's true. [both laughing]

[Nadine narrating] And then, out of the clear blue, an angel appeared. Can you move, please?

[laughs]