Found 314 results
1m27s
Okay. Get on the ground. We've got what you want. Can't you just let us go? I said, "On the ground!" You too, playboy, get over there. Get on the ground. KIDNAPPER 2: Yeah. KIDNAPPER: None of that child pose shit, either. The Bulgarian's gonna kill me, probably you guys, too. Why did you come here? Because you're my brother, and I can't just let you die, even though you might deserve it. You're unbelievable, you know that? You've always been a better person than me. You gotta shut up. Okay? Listen. I'm a fraud, Max. I'm not the carefree dude that wins at everything he touches. You know how I win? I cheat. I cheat at everything. I even cheated when we were kids playing Battleship. What? Didn't you ever wonder why I made you sit with your back to the TV? It was so I could see your ships in the reflection. I mean, I even took five grand every time we played Monopoly before we even started playing the game. I cheated at the Game of Life. And at the game of life. You son of a bitch. - You son of a bitch! - Yo, sit down. - What about you, Princess? - I don't have anything. But it didn't stop there, because when we grew up, Max, you went off to college, and I... You got a career, you... You married the greatest girl in the world. I knew I couldn't keep up with that success. So I... I told everyone that I got a job on Wall Street. And I did. Selling coke to traders.
Game Night
32.7s
MAX: All right, you got this. Last one. Oh, that's Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. - (ALL GROAN) - Yes! I'm up, I feel good. Two words. Bill. Overweight. - No. - Single. Out of work. What the fuck? Hairy. Carry, marry. Marry! You. Me. Marry me? - (WHOOPING) - Dude, we got it! We got it! Annie, will you? - (GASPS) - Will you marry me? - Is that a yes? That's a yes! - Yeah! I'm really happy for you guys. - (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) - (ALL CHEERING)
Game Night
2m26s
- ANNIE: Lot of pressure here. - MAX: Yeah. ANNIE: You miss, you lose it all. MAX: Stay outta my head. And you know you have a distinct advantage with the smaller hands, right? Your goal posts are not as big. Well, I guess you should've married Uma Thurman. Yeah, that would've been great. There's a snap, - here's the hold. - (CELL PHONE CHIMES) - Ooh! - And a text. That was interference. ANNIE: Sorry, honey. I know how much that meant to you. - Come on. - Dr. Chin is ready for you. Uh, great. I think we've determined why you've been having trouble conceiving. - MAX: Okay. Let's have it. - ANNIE: Okay, great. Oh, what's that look? Is it me? Of course it's me. I'm not loving your semen. - Oh? - Your count is excellent, but your motility is well below normal. - That's too bad. - What would cause that? It can be genetic, environmental factors. Nine times out of 10, though, it's psychological. Have you been feeling anxious or stressed? No, I don't think so. Not really. (HIGH-PITCHED) Uh... He's always a little stressed. You don't have to write... I'm not... Honey, she's writing it down. Well, Max is very competitive. As am I. We sure are. One of the reasons I fell in love with him. Maybe that makes him a little more prone to stress than normal people. "Normal people"? How long has this been going on, Max? It's not going on. Oh, well, you did say even when you were a kid, you would freak out if you lost at anything. Oh, I was a kid. Especially if you lost to your brother. Hmm. Hey, is that what this is? No. You have been so uptight since you found out that Brooks is coming to town. I don't think that's true. - Could that be a factor in all this? - Let's be fair. Sibling rivalry can be very powerful. Cain and Abel, the Baldwins. - The what? - The brothers. I'm not sure why we're discussing this. She's not a therapist. You're not a therapist, right? With all respect. - No, but I am a doctor. - Sure. And I believe in treating the whole patient. So, what is it about your brother that makes you feel emasculated? Are we gonna do this? We're right next to the room where I masturbated. I think he has it in his head that Brooks is cooler and more successful and hotter than he is. I never said "hotter." He's charming. That's interesting. And is he single? MAX: What's that? I don't know if I mentioned it, but Keith and I are on a trial separation. - Oh. - Keith? Uh, Keith. So, do you think your brother would wanna grab a cup of coffee with me? (SIGHS) Gosh, I don't know. Well, it doesn't hurt to ask. Hurts a little. (SCOFFS) Now, is he a tall fella? 'Cause I'm only 5'2". We're all done with my semen? He is taller than Max. DR. CHIN: Good. ANNIE: But he did date this ballerina once, and she was just a teeny-tiny little thing.
Game Night
53s
You have a good one. Any plans for this evening? MAX: No. Perhaps a game night? We're just gonna stay in, - just the two of us. - Mmm-hmm. - Boring. - Mmm. I see. I do hope you keep me in mind for any future game nights. You bet. I've always enjoyed the camaraderie of good friends competing in games of chance and skill. Yeah. Yeah, well, we'll do that, but tonight it's just the two of us. Three bags of Tostitos Scoops, I notice. There was a special on these tonight. Three for one. Three for one? Yup. How can that be profitable for Frito-Lay?
Game Night