Found 289 results
19.4s
- Are those my pants? - Yeah, these are your pants. I found a Werther's Original in the pocket and I've been sucking on it all morning. You do know that I'm not a professor, right? Yeah, I know. You're just a dirty, dirty grandpa, and I'm just a girl from Long lsland City who likes to fuck old people.
Dirty Grandpa
13.8s
Hey, man, can you slow down? You're making this very difficult. What the fuck! That was you who drew all those dicks on me last week? - Yeah, I drew the dicks. Busted! - Oh, my God! Oh, shit! Don't worry. Get up. We'll cut through the back roads. - Wait, what? - You navigate. I'll drive.
Dirty Grandpa
55.7s
Back off, D cups! Well, if it isn't the "professor." You know, it's amazing what you can find with a name and Google these days. You're not a real professor? Oh, my God! You lied to us. How could you. Wait, wait, wait, this is the best part. This is the best part. Richard "Dick" Kelly, Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Army, also known as the American Gladiator "Nitro." What the fuck did you Google? Okay, well, there's another best part then. "Jason Patrick Kelly will wed Meredith Miriam Goldstein at Jericho Temple on Saturday, March 27th." Oh, wait, that's, um, next Saturday. Wait, you're grandfather and grandson? Oh, my God! That is so fucked up. That is so hot. I mean, that is so fucked up.
Dirty Grandpa
58.2s
♪ Through it all You've been hacked. ♪ You were my strength when I was weak - ♪ You were my voice... - ♪ When I couldn't speak ♪ You were my eyes when I couldn't see ♪ You saw the best there was in me ♪ Lifted me up when I couldn't reach ♪ I'm everything I am ♪ Because you loved me? Because you loved me. What the fuck?
Dirty Grandpa
1m25s
Hey, there he is. You got blood on your pants, you know. Your license isn't even suspended, is it? You made all this up just so I'd come down here with you. - I had to make sure you'd come. - Fuck you! Just chill, Jason. Hakuna matata. Who the fuck are you? I should have known you were fucking crazy the moment you started hitting on women the day after Grandma's funeral! Don't you fucking judge me. You have no idea what I had with your grandmother. And everything I've done these last few days I've done for a reason. You were about to fuck up royally by getting married, - and you fucking know it! - Oh, yeah? What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Chase around some college girl that doesn't even want to fucking talk to me? Not know what the fuck I'm doing for the rest of my life? Yeah, because at least you'd be thinking for yourself for a change. - What the fuck does that even mean? - Your father has lorded over every decision you've made in your adult life, and Meredith is just the latest example of that! She's not right for you, Jason. If you marry her, you're going to be sleepwalking through the rest of your life and be completely unhappy, - just like your father! - I am already unhappy with my life, because I've done nothing but get fucked by you and this insane fuck rampage that you've been on. It wasn't a "fuck rampage" for me. It was a "fuck rampage" for you. - How? How is this for me? - I fucked up as a father. I wasn't there to raise your dad and he turned into a materialistic, henpecked, poop-dick country clubber. - I don't want that to happen to you. - So that's what this was?
Dirty Grandpa