Found 289 results
30.5s
Okay. They're in the hospital till tomorrow! The room's ours for the night. Look at these fucking people. How was brunch at Hitler's house that day? Hey, Grandpa, who else in our family knows that you were, uh, Special Forces or whatever? No one, once your grandmother passed. Your father stopped talking to me before my missions were declassified. So he always thought I was just an army mechanic. But don't you think that you guys would get along a little better if you told him?
Dirty Grandpa
52.2s
What do these guys want to cut all the trees down for anyway? For some stupid, like, massive, tacky entertainment complex. You know, the ones with, like, arcades and laser tag. That sort of thing. - Laser tag? I love laser tag. - Yeah. - When does it open? - Nice. Thanks a lot. - Shadia! - Hi, Griz. Oh, my God, your pics from the Boston rally look amazing! - Thank you. - Yeah. Absolutely. Sweet Hacky Sack, man. It's not a Hacky Sack, dawg. That's the trade name. It's an organic hemp-seed foot satchel. And what's someone from the fucking laser tag lobby doing here? No, I'm just a friend of Shadia's. Just a friend. That's pretty cool, man. What is that, a dance ball? Fuck! What the fuck? - You're fucking kidding me. - It's like a... What the fuck! It's a 4-inch acrylic juggling orb! Dick. Um... I'll see you guys next weekend. - Absolutely. Absolutely. - Yeah? Okay. Bye. - Love your necklace. - Bye.
Dirty Grandpa
43.2s
I found them! I can see! I can see!" Tell me it's 4:00 and you want to eat dinner. "It's 4:00 and I want to eat dinner." Tell me the buttons on your remote control are so small that you can't find Fox News. "The buttons on my remote control are so small I can't find Fox News!" - Tell me how small they are! - "They're real small!" Tell me how this neighborhood used to be safer! "This neighborhood used to be safer!" Tell me how things were better under Eisenhower! "Things were better under Eisenhower!" - We like Ike! - We like Ike! We like lke! Are you cumming or dying? I'm not sure! Maybe both!
Dirty Grandpa
19.2s
I had some of this left over from my time in the Middle East. You throw some of this shit around, you can really get away with anything. - Have some. - You're smoking grass now? Jesus, this is a gateway drug, Grandpa. Yeah, well, you just opened the gateway to being a pussy. - Take some. - Yo, D. Let's fucking bounce! - Let's fucking bounce! - Where?
Dirty Grandpa
40.5s
♪ For all those times you stood by me ♪ For all the truth that you made me see ♪ For all the joy you brought to my life ♪ Into my life ♪ For all the wrong that you made right ♪ For every dream you made come true ♪ For all the love ♪ I found in you ♪ I'll be... ♪ You've gotta be forever thankful, baby ♪ You're the one who held me up ♪ Never let me fall Let's go in for the kill.
Dirty Grandpa
19.4s
- Are those my pants? - Yeah, these are your pants. I found a Werther's Original in the pocket and I've been sucking on it all morning. You do know that I'm not a professor, right? Yeah, I know. You're just a dirty, dirty grandpa, and I'm just a girl from Long lsland City who likes to fuck old people.
Dirty Grandpa
13.8s
Hey, man, can you slow down? You're making this very difficult. What the fuck! That was you who drew all those dicks on me last week? - Yeah, I drew the dicks. Busted! - Oh, my God! Oh, shit! Don't worry. Get up. We'll cut through the back roads. - Wait, what? - You navigate. I'll drive.
Dirty Grandpa