Drop the mic, baby! Drop the mic, baby! - That's what I'm talking about! - Peace out, niggas! I see you, boy. Nasty!
Dirty Grandpa
13.7s
He says he's very sorry, but he can't marry you. Uncle Ruben, can you turn that thing up a little? It doesn't get any louder. Where'd you get that thing, SkyMall?
Dirty Grandpa
21.3s
- You ready to hit the road? - I'm really sorry, Grandpa. I didn't think you'd be doing that. Ah, so you caught me taking a number three. - Big deal, right? - Number three? Have a drink. Uh... No. I'm driving, so... I just got to finish up my exercises, and then we'll hop on 16 to 95.
Dirty Grandpa
32.7s
Every single day, my career's in jeopardy... - What are you doing? - I'm taking the regulator off the pneumatic propulsion system. Give me a beer. Grandpa, what did you really do for the army? - I told you, I was a mechanic. - Bullshit. You speak Arabic. You hot-wired a golf cart. Tell me the truth. All right, I was Special Forces! I trained insurgents behind enemy lines from Vietnam to Iraq. Now give me the fucking beer can! Come on! Look at this dummy! What an idiot!
Dirty Grandpa
30.5s
Okay. They're in the hospital till tomorrow! The room's ours for the night. Look at these fucking people. How was brunch at Hitler's house that day? Hey, Grandpa, who else in our family knows that you were, uh, Special Forces or whatever? No one, once your grandmother passed. Your father stopped talking to me before my missions were declassified. So he always thought I was just an army mechanic. But don't you think that you guys would get along a little better if you told him?
Dirty Grandpa
27.5s
Okay, Daytona Beach, are you ready to Flex Off? Three! Two! One! Flex! Having trouble getting that coat off, Fat Goose? Uh... Look at this guy! He's like Mother Teresa's vagina! Old and tight! Hey, look, it's Cirque du So Gay! What now?
Dirty Grandpa
22.3s
Give me that! What is this? Hey! Hey, hey, hey... Leave my illegitimate black son alone. We were just asking him to dance. - Well, he don't wanna dance. - Well, maybe you wanna dance instead. - I don't wanna dance... - Colonel Sanders! It's all right. It's all right. Let's not dirty this place up. It's a shrine. Sinatra sang here. Parking lot?
Dirty Grandpa
3.2s
Tell him you're sorry you made fun of him for being gay.
Dirty Grandpa
1.8s
Party till you're pregnant!
Dirty Grandpa
2.4s
Oh, my God, I love this song!
Dirty Grandpa
2.5s
- Come on. - Oh, no. No.
Dirty Grandpa
5.6s
Well, in case you forgot, I don't even have underwear, from last night. All right, just put them on. I'll turn around.
Dirty Grandpa
19.7s
First of all, nobody wears a fucking white belt. The only people who wear white belts are people who suck at karate and people who suck at life. Take the fucking belt off. And you better lose that fucking white polo shirt and those pleated khaki pants. You're meeting up with girls, not blowing an oil executive on a fucking golf course. Put these on.
Dirty Grandpa
2.9s
Hey, come on. Let's see how you look. Come on out.
Dirty Grandpa
18.2s
- Shit. It's Meredith. - Don't answer it. My rehearsal brunch is this weekend. No calls. For one night, stop worrying about your wedding. Please. We have two hot, smart, beautiful college girls at the peak of their sexual powers about to meet us at one of the last great nightclubs in Florida. Worry about them.
Dirty Grandpa
27.1s
What are you going to do with a bucket? I don't know! Okay, on three. Ready? One, two, three! Okay, let me try one more time. The GZA, the RZA, OI' Dirty Bastard. - What's going on? - Gang stuff. Raekwon the Chef! And the Method Man!
Dirty Grandpa
7.4s
- Nice dick. - Aw, jeez, Grandpa. That's a good dick. You got your grandpa's dick. Not the girth, not the length, but same style.
Dirty Grandpa
8.2s
That's good to know. You're lucky you're not your dad. He's got his mom's dick. What the fuck? Now put your pants on.