Found 337 results
46.3s
- Okay, okay, okay! - I want a Barbie! This isn't even a real Barbie. You've got a real Barbie that Santa gave you a few weeks ago. Santa got me a fat Barbie! I want a skinny Barbie! She's not fat. She's body positive. If you put the doll back, I'll get you a giant ice cream sundae. So you're rewarding this behavior? - What are you thinking? - You handle it. - Juan, get out of there. Please? - Don't hit me! Don't hit me! I'm sorry! I didn't hit him, okay? I never have hit him. - I would never hit a kid. - I want a Barbie! Stop right now, or you're not getting lunch or dinner. We're not starving people here, okay? I have this under control. Yeah, Lizzy, you body-positive whore! Okay, you're done. Gimme that. Give it to me. Just give me that now! Oh, yeah? Yeah, it really looks like you've got it. - Scan it! Hurry! - No! We're not doing this!
Instant Family
15.4s
Hey, sweetie. I brought the car. - Saved you a little walking time. - We had a front space. Well, it's still closer. - Hey, Pete, look at my pretty new doll. - Wow. - So you caved, huh? - No, I did not cave. I bought it for her. It was only four bucks. Can we just get out of here, you coward?
Instant Family
15.3s
She's got a knife. - It's just a SpongeBob knife. - It's still a knife. Just put the knife down, honey. Look, kid, just put down the weapon, okay? You guys want me to deal with this, or do you still got it? - Do you wanna let her jump in here now, please? - Okay, okay. Fine. Fine! Lita.
Instant Family
37.4s
Hey! Lizzy, Lizzy, please! Lizzy, no, okay? I've got this. - Why are you yelling at me? I'm just trying to help you. - I'm not yelling at... I'm sor... I am. Just then I was. But it's... Look. Lita, don't do what Lizzy said. What did you say? C uatro? "Go to your bedroom"? No, cuatro means "quart." Like quart of milk. She said, "You're not gonna have a potato chip, but you will drink that milk." In any case, we have this. It's fine. - Okay. Fine. - Okay. Let's try some of this meat loaf, okay? - No! I want my chips! - You're not having chips! I don't think she's getting on board with the plan, honey. - I don't want this! - Hey! - You sure you don't wanna give her chips? - No, we're not giving her chips.
Instant Family
29.6s
- I did not cave. - Oh, you caved. Lizzy gave you the look and you caved. Maybe I just wanted to be the fun parent for once instead of being the bad guy. - I tried being the bad guy. You wouldn't let me. - Okay, fine. I'm sorry. But look how much fun everybody's having. And Lizzy, she's actually smiling. It's crazy. Hey! Did you have fun? You don't have to go on the kiddie rides. I love the big rides. You want to go on the... - Hey, Lizzy! - Hey, what's up? - Good to see you! - Good to see you too!
Instant Family
1m24s
- Unlock the window! - And if I say anything about any of it... I'm so sorry. It's not my fault. - Lizzy's favorite pastime is just... - Just leave me alone! Thanks for making me late. You're an asshole. God forbid we actually try to parent the little ones. No, no, that's her territory. Don't forget, when Lizzy was ten her mother would disappear for weeks at a time, leaving Lizzy to parent Juan and Lita all by herself. Yeah, she's not just gonna step aside and let you two take over. - Are you saying that we should let her parent the kids? - Are you paying attention? She's 15. She's a terrible parent. She needs to be a kid. Now, you gotta step up and become the parents. - But you just said she won't let us. - Nope, she won't. You know, Karen, you've been a godsend through most of this, but you're just about to piss me off! You won't get anywhere with her until you two get on the same page. - Right? - That's right. If she's hostile with you again, maybe try using the three R's. Okay? Number one: regulate. "Lizzy, why don't you take some deep breaths, count to ten." Number two: relate. "I understand that you're upset. Nobody likes to feel this way." - That's good. - Number three: reason. "Lizzy, it's okay to be angry. What's not okay is to threaten to slash our throats in the middle of the night when we're asleep." - Hmm? - What? I'm sorry, did I...? That was actually us. Our story. - Yeah. - Last session. The little guy didn't follow through with it though.
Instant Family
56.7s
- Well, not yet! - Not yet. Sorry, but we shouldn't be laughing. No, it's actually important to have a sense of humor about this kind of thing. Right. You gotta laugh or you'll never make it through this. That is right. Speaking of which, next up we have October, who still hasn't been matched with a child. Well, there's some good news. Ha-ha-ha. So, together we're all gonna decide which chore we'd like to do and then each week we'll mix it up. - Can I do "Feed Meatball"? - Yes! - I want to feed Meatball! - You can feed him next week. Pete, I hope she's not serious about all this. It's not just she, it's we. And we are. Very serious. - Okay, so do you want us to wash your feet too? - Oh, Lizzy. - This is bullshit! - Lizzy! Hey, hey, wait, wait! Lizzy. Let's just... Let's... Let's try something else. Can we just take a moment, calm down, and take a few breaths? Please? Try it.
Instant Family
49.8s
I don't know, maybe next time you guys... try and use the three R's on me. I could barf all over the ground because it's so nauseating! I knew it wasn't gonna work with her. Oh, good! You're home! Hi! Mom, I told you to text or call. You told me to give you a few weeks to settle in. Well, it's been a few weeks, and I want to meet my new grandkids. You must be Lizzy. Come here! - No, she doesn't like it when you... - Come here! Oh! I'm your Grandma Sandy. Anyone ever starts shit with any of you, they have to deal with me. We're family now, and I got your back forever. You hear me? - Mom, just take it easy. Please. - Oh, my God! Will you look at them! Juan, Lita, this is Sandy. This is Pete's mom. - Hi! - Hi! I could just eat you two up! And how's my baby boy? Ohh!
Instant Family
28.8s
- Hello, dear. - Hi. Mom, give us a few minutes. We were just in the middle of a family meeting. Perfect, because I'm a member of the family. Grandma Sandy has an announcement to make. I got the whole family tickets to Six Flags! - Yay! - Yay! What's Six Flags? - "What's Six Flags?" - Mom, that's such a nice offer. But things have been a little chaotic around here, and we need things to be normal. I'll tell you what's not normal, is your kids not knowing what Six Flags is.
Instant Family