Found 245 results
23.1s
So, from now on, only use the new time sheets... if you've worked on two or more job codes in one day... and you need the extra columns to fit it all in. Otherwise, use the old time sheets... Where's Peter? I heard he didn't show up this weekend. Uh, I don't know. ...really, really help us out. Who's that guy? So, uh... any questions?
Office Space
54.2s
- I have a question. - Yes? In this conjugal visits, you can have sex with women? Yep, you sure can. OK, I'll do it. That's what I'm talkin' about when I talk about America! Can we discuss the plan? OK, yeah, good, right. It works like a computer virus. All we do is load it into the credit union's mainframe. It'll do the rest. Get me that disk, and I'll take it from there. Before we go any further, all right? We have to swear to God, Allah... that nobody knows about this but us, all right? No family members, no girlfriends. Nobody. - Of course. - Agreed. Don't worry, man! I won't tell anyone, either. - What the fuck is that? - Don't worry. He's cool. All right. Here's how I see it all going down. Peter, congratulations. This is one heck of a promotion. Thank you, Bob. We'll get some people under you right away.
Office Space
46.8s
That was easy. Yeah, I guess it was. What'd you do with the... Hey, man. Oh, hey, Drew. You guys hear about Tom Smykowski? That he got laid off? No, man, check it out. Last week, after he found out he was getting laid off... he tries to kill himself by running the car in the garage. Is he dead? No, man, check it out. His wife comes home early and catches him. He tries to play it off like nothing happened. I was having some trouble with the shifter here. It's jammed. L... I couldn't get it into drive. - L... l...I mean, reverse. - You OK, Tom? Then as he's lookin' at her... he decides he wants to live. Yeah, I think I'm OK. Right. Seems to be working now.
Office Space
35.7s
But as soon as he backs out of his driveway... Bam! He gets slammed big-time by a drunk driver. - Is he OK? - Sort of. Broke both his wrists, legs, a couple of ribs, his back... but he's getting a huge settlement out of this. Like seven figures. He's getting out of the hospital tomorrow. He's throwing a big party this weekend to celebrate. We're all invited. I'm thinking I might take that new chick from logistics. Things go well, I might be showing her my "Oh" face. Oh, oh, oh... You know what I'm talking about. Oh. Yeah. Right. See you guys there.
Office Space
39s
But that's not much money. That's the beauty of it. Each withdrawal, it's a fraction of a cent, too small to notice. But you take a few thousand withdrawals a day... you space it out over a couple of years... that's a few hundred thousand dollars. It's like "Superman III." "Superman lll"? I have to leave now. I have to get my résumé ready. For another job where they can fire you for no reason? That's right. If I'm lucky. I'm tired of being pushed around. Aren't you? Yes, but I'm not going to do anything illegal. Illegal? Samir, this is America. Come on. Sit down.
Office Space
26.6s
Come on. This isn't Riyadh. They're not going to saw your hands off here. The worst they'd do is put you for a couple of months... into a white-collar, minimum-security resort. Shit, we should be so lucky. They have conjugal visits there. - Really? - Yes. Shit! I'm a free man. I haven't had a conjugal visit in six months. So what do you think? This thing is actually pretty fail-safe, Samir. Samir?
Office Space
36.6s
Uh, listen, I heard about your... your settlement. Congratulations. Well, thanks, Peter. You know, I'm glad you're here, because I wanted to talk to you. I know how you get depressed about your job and all, and... I just wanted you to know that I know how you feel. I used to be the same way. - Really? - Sure. Maybe I didn't whine as much. But I bet I hated my job even more than you... and I'd been doing it for over thirty years. Wow. Just remember, if you hang in there long enough... good things can happen in this world. I mean, look at me.
Office Space