Excuse me. Excuse me, señor. May I speak to you, please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought a piña colada. And I said no salt, no salt... for the margarita, but it had salt on it. Lo siento mucho, señor. Pinche gringo. I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... I could shut this whole resort down. Sir? I'll take my traveller's cheques to a competing resort. I could write a letter to your board of tourism. I could have this place condemned. I could put, I could put strychnine in the guacamole. There was salt on the glass, big grains of salt.
Office Space
1.3s
Nothing.
Office Space
27.2s
No one in this country can pronounce my name right. It's not that hard. "Na-ee" and then "anajaad." Nayanajaad. At least your name isn't Michael Bolton. You know, there's nothing wrong with that name. There was nothing wrong with it... until I was about twelve years old... and that no-talent ass clown became famous... and started winning Grammys. Hmm. Well, why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael? Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.
Office Space
34s
No. Not again. L... Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days... I just kick this piece of shit out the window. You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed. Piece of shit. PEGG "Samir... "Na-Na... "Na-Naga..." - No. Thanks. - Unh-huh! Please. "Michael... Bolton"? That's me. Wow! Is that your real name? Yeah. Ahem.
Office Space
13s
Hey, guys. What's up, G? Wanna go to Chotchkie's, get some coffee? Oh, it's a little early. I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it. PEGG Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays.
Office Space
7s
Heh heh heh! So, can I get you gentlemen something more to drink... or maybe something to nibble on... some pizza shooters, shrimp poppers, or extreme fajitas?
Office Space
5.9s
Yes. Corporate accounts payable. Nina speaking. Just a moment. I have the memo.
Office Space
5.5s
So are you related to that singer guy? No. It's just a coincidence. Oh.
Office Space
4.4s
Boy, I tell ya, some days. One of these days, it's just gonna be like...
Office Space
2s
Just a moment.
Office Space
46.8s
Yeah. Our high school guidance counsellor... used to ask us what you would do if you had a million dollars... didn't have to work... and whatever you'd say was supposed to be your career. So if you wanted to fix old cars... then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic. So what did you say? I never had an answer. I guess that's why I'm working at Initech. No. You're working at Initech... 'cause that question is bullshit to begin with. If everyone listened to her, there'd be no janitors... because no one would clean shit if they had a million dollars. You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in glorious mutual funds... and then take the other half to my friend Asadulah... who works in securities... Samir. Samir, you're missing the point. The point of the exercise is you're supposed to figure out... what you would want to do if... "PC load letter"? What the fuck does that mean?
Office Space
29.3s
You have to use your mind... and come up with some really great idea like that... and you can make millions... Never have to work again. You think the pet rock was a really great idea? Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars. You know, I had an idea like that once... a long time ago. Really? What was it, Tom? Well, all right. It was a "Jump to Conclusions" mat.
Office Space
11.5s
Yeah, well, I don't think any occupational hypnotherapist... is gonna help you solve any of your problems. Hey, and speaking of problems... what's this I hear about you having problems... with your T.P.S. Reports? Yeah. Didn't you get that memo?
Office Space
14.8s
Oh, that reminds me. I can't play poker on Friday. Why not? I'm gonna see this occupational hypnotherapist with Anne. Dude, an occupational hypnotherapist? I know. Anne wants me to go. She thinks it might help.
Office Space
6.2s
I'm just another asshole customer. You can't just walk up to a waitress and ask her out. Besides, I'm still trying to work it out with Anne.
Office Space
10.1s
Um... You know, sometimes I think that... I get thinking that she's cheating on me. Yeah. I know what you mean. Yeah.