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28.4s
As always, I'd like to thank my guest: Joe Gordon-Levitt! And before we go, I have a very special announcement. With the help of my outstanding producer, Aaron Rapaport... I have secured the most important interview of the 21st century. Three weeks from tonight... I will be traveling to Pyongyang, North Korea... to conduct the first globally broadcast interview... with President Kim Jong-un.
The Interview
39.8s
- She is so cool. - You don't see what's happening. - And it's so obvious, it's crazy, man. - What? - They're honeypotting us. - What? It's an attractive spy woman who lures men into doing shit. How can you not see that? - Because that is so sexist. - Is it? This is 2014. Women are smart now. You think she just so happens to have everything you find attractive? Bangs, giant tits, glasses? - They're fake, man. - Fake glasses? - How could the CIA come up with that? - That poor girl is blind as a bat. I'm just saying that when we're on molly and when we're horned up, might not... - "Horned up"? Oh, please. - You are horned up. You have half a fucking chub right now!
The Interview
54.8s
- I got LASIK. - Between the time I saw you and now? - Yes. - Okay. Now, our intelligence suggests that you will be taken here... to Kim Jong-un's personal compound. So preceding the interview... you are going to shake Kim's hand... administering a fatal dose of poison... with this: a transdermal, time-delayed ricin strip. When you shake his hand... the poison will be absorbed into his skin... where it metabolizes for a 12-hour period. Nobody will have any idea you two were involved. No one will know? The United States must maintain total and complete deniability. - Total deniability? - Obviously. What did you picture? I walk in there like a fucking gangster... and blow his little fucking ass away on television. This is a major television event. You don't wanna blow it with an off-screen death.
The Interview