Maybe ask the district manager. Nope. It is not in the computer. Okay, when will it be in the computer? Maybe tomorrow. That's when Victor gets back. It's not in the computer, it's not in the park. Who is Victor? The guy that knows how to find shit in the computer. How can you lose a fountain? - This is a big deal to us, okay? - I mean, it's a fountain! - Can you look a little bit harder? - That's incredible! It is not in the computer. Yeah, but your attitude is right on your shoulders. No, no, no! There was no physical contact. We're okay. We're fine. We're fine.
The Change-Up
11.5s
I have the biggest meeting in my life in 45 minutes. This isn't happening. Did you have something you wanted to do today? I've got day one of my big break movie. If I don't make this meeting, I don't make partner, and the last 15 years of my life, everything I've done, wasted! All right, fine, I'll do it.
The Change-Up
2.2s
I've got it. I'll do it.
The Change-Up
7.9s
Look at your flow, it's so nice and thick. It's confident. - Yours is very steamy. - Thanks.
The Change-Up
3.4s
Hey, motherfucker... Who could tell us where it is?
The Change-Up
8.5s
We wished for each other's lives when we were pissing in that fucking fountain last night. We wished we had each other's lives. I was just trying to be nice! Oh, my God!
The Change-Up
3.3s
I know a shortcut to the fountain. Go this way.
The Change-Up
2.9s
Careful! Easy. I got it. I got it.
The Change-Up
4.1s
What did you do? What did I do? You think I want to be you? Who said I wanted to be you?
The Change-Up
2s
Holy shit, we did.
The Change-Up
20.7s
How did I miss this? I missed all the sex and the drugs and the bad choices, and I just fucking rushed it, didn't I? Wasn't I rushing? You were busy. Rushing to get into a good college, right? And then into a good law school. Once I got into a good law school, I just wanted to get into a good law firm. I met Jamie, we got married, we had Cara, and that was it. I pissed away my 20s, right? Now it's too late.
The Change-Up
48.2s
- Tell me slow. - No, nothing. Because all Tatiana wants to do at 3:00 in the morning is fucky, fucky, rubber ducky. This chick is insatiable! She wants it in every position under the sun. God, you're so lucky. We do the Wheelbarrow, the Arabian Goggles, the Lonesome Dove, the Arsenio Hall, the Jelly Donut, the Pastrami Sandwich, the Wolfgang Puck... And let me tell you something, no man is that hungry. What? I don't even know what these are. - You're married. You're married, Dave. - That's true. Anyway, we start going at it and it gets so intense that my nose starts bleeding. Come on. This is Dracula, Anne Rice-type shit happening right in front of me. Good for you. When all is said and done, when we finish up, and the dust settles, she looks up at me, and she says, "Mitchell, next Tuesday, I am coming back here, "and we're really going to fuck."
The Change-Up
40.9s
Mitch. Reminds me a little bit of Sabrina. Yeah! Wait, who's Sabrina? Sabrina. She's this... She's this new law associate at my work. She's so hot. Mitch, is she hot. She's like fall-out-of-a-magazine hot, you know? I bet she's number one on your cancer list, right? What is that? - Come on, you know what that is. - What is that? Every married guy has a cancer list. It's the first three women you'd have sex with if your wife suddenly died of cancer. That's fucking sick. Come on. That's the mother of my children. I know. But I'll play. Yes, she'd be at the top of that list. - It's like a gift. - Yeah. But I interrupted you. Tell me about this one again. God, last week, Tatiana, she comes over, she's wearing this tight black mini-dress, and you know what she says to me?
The Change-Up
4.3s
And I'd like to take a piss. Me, too. Fountain, fountain, fountain. Perfect.