Holy shit! Why the fuck are you still wearing clothes? When are you due? Any minute now, so let's get our fuck on before this becomes a threesome. That's so gross! Whoa, stop for a second. Stop for a second. You're so heavy! My tits are aching for you. That's probably the Colostrum coming, and it'll be very painful. Okay, okay. Just friends. Just friends. Okay, what's your deal tonight?
The Change-Up
4.1s
Just grow a mustache and lure a child into your van. Where did you find that shit?
The Change-Up
2.2s
You ask yourself that.
The Change-Up
1.9s
Did you tell Dave to shave his balls?
The Change-Up
2.5s
Hi. - Mitch. - How are you?
The Change-Up
1.2s
Sweet!
The Change-Up
4.9s
This is called a grocery store. People buy food here. It's part of your responsibilities.
The Change-Up
1.2s
Hey.
The Change-Up
4s
I know. It's me. This hasn't been fun. Good story.
The Change-Up
16.9s
This is what you get, okay? Yeah, right there. - Mitch. - Okay, dude. Tomorrow morning, when I am sitting in your office, you need to be downtown, finding that fucking fountain. I do not know how much more of this shit...
The Change-Up
2.7s
Okay. After what?
The Change-Up
1.7s
- Ask Tommy. - Tommy!
The Change-Up
1.2s
Roger that.
The Change-Up
15.7s
Thank you for coming in today. My name is Erin Walsh, and I'll be mediating your claim. Any and all agreements made during this mediation are binding and carry with them the full rights and responsibilities of the law as stated in Federal Code 325 A, Section 4.
The Change-Up
4s
Good. It's good. We're taking things slow, but it's good.
The Change-Up
12.8s
I just came by to tell you how incredibly proud of you I am, son. I'm pretty baked right now, but I think you're being sarcastic. Right? No, dropping out of high school to be an actor was a great decision.
The Change-Up
3.7s
Listen, the only reason I'm here is because my boss told me to be.
