Found 796 results
50.4s
- Hello. - Penis, shit, vagina, cock, wolf pussies. Mitch. I'm at work. - Did I get you? - Yeah. You sure did. - You got me on speakerphone? - Yep. Did the secretary hear? Yes, the secretary heard. She heard it all. That's awesome. Not really. How stoned are you right now? I've taken some weed. Have you? Do you know what time it is? It's like 9:00. Holy fuck-knuckles. - Guess what I'm looking at right now. - A bong? No, I found a futon on the street last night. I sort of had to fight a bum for it. He was so thin. And it also came with this vintage Navajo pony blanket... So I think that's pretty much a win for me. Mitch, you know the adults are about to fire up a work day. - I know, I just miss you, dude, that's all. - I miss you, too. We've been super best buddies since third grade. I haven't seen you in forever. I've been swamped. We're sleep-training the twins, and I just haven't had a moment to breathe. I'm sorry, man. I'm just super-excited to see you. We are still on for tonight, right?
The Change-Up
26s
- David? - Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For the thingy. Braves-Marlins. Please don't tell me that you forgot. Didn't forget. What time are you going to pick me up? Don't you bail on me, David. I am not going to bail. If you bail on me, I'm going to literally eye-rape you. I got it. I will actually place myself inside your ocular... It's my dad. Mitch Planko, Sr. making a rare appearance. This guy fucking hates me.
The Change-Up
26s
Hey, Mitch. Your hair looks good. Thanks. Yeah, I had to cut it for a fucking tampon commercial. Uncle Mitch! How's my favorite ballerina doing? - Hi, Uncle Mitch. - Hi! Gosh, you're so light. Are you dieting? Do you want to come to my dance recital? No, honey. The only style of dancing that Uncle Mitch likes involves a big, shiny pole, and a broken woman with daddy issues.
The Change-Up
18.3s
That was three months ago. I know. I heard her. And I want to sit and talk with you for an hour more than once a week, but tonight, I cannot. Why? What are you doing? I promised Mitch I would sit and watch a game with him tonight, and... What? Can we please just slide the Dialogue Night again? I'm so sorry.
The Change-Up