Oh, God! That did not just happen. What? Hey. I always thought your wife was a nice lady, but she talks like a dock worker and she shits like one, too. Plus, I used to think your kids were adorable, but they're not. They're fucking bananas. Can I help you? Here's the deal. I got two screaming... Hold on. What's with all the heavy breathing? Are you jerking off? No, I'm not. Yes, yes, yes, I am. Look, I never get this kind of privacy any more. Isn't that kind of my dick, though?
The Change-Up
2.8s
Hey, hey! What the fuck?
The Change-Up
18.1s
I don't... Like, sixth grade. Well, that's disturbing. Gets me an extra inch, and only you married dudes rock the dick-froes. Now, let me ask you a question. If Tatiana was over earlier, why do you still have the need to jerk off? Tatiana. I don't think that she's going to be back for at least... She's never coming back, Mitch.
The Change-Up
16.2s
Come on. Are you fucking kidding me right now? It's 3:00 in the morning. You go do it, you're the mother. I'm the mother! It's 3:00 in the morning! Get the fuck out of the bed right now before I fucking cut you! Jesus! What the fuck?
The Change-Up
6s
That's cool. Thank you, I think. Question. How long have you been shaved down there?
The Change-Up
2.2s
Use your left hand, you get a little bit more torque.
The Change-Up
2.7s
Unreal. This is just...
The Change-Up
1.2s
Is that weird?
The Change-Up
1.8s
Where's Dave?
The Change-Up
2.4s
Oh, please.
The Change-Up
11.1s
I'm one of the guys looking for the fountain that you lost in the computer. I'd be very, very appreciative if you could tell me where that is. Yeah, I can do that. Good. Great. First, you got to fill out a formal information request.
The Change-Up
5.6s
Okay, I'm going to fill that out right now. Then it needs to go to State. - State? - Yeah, to get approved.
The Change-Up
7s
How long is it going to take State to approve it, then? - Three days... - Oh, God! - ...to three weeks. - Come on!
The Change-Up
3.7s
Why can't you approve it, Victor? I don't have that authority.
