Found 522 results

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But I won't let that happen to you.

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I'm just going to ask you out, okay? Like a grownup. Just two friends having dinner. Then if it turns into anything else, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

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Yeah, so I think August... August will be good. All right, uh, have a good night. See you tomorrow.

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Oh. Hi. Wow, what are the odds? What's it going to be now? Did you buy me the Statue of Liberty?

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We did it! You were great. Oh. Ooh. I, um...

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Maggie! No, no, no, Maggie, stop this now. If you only knew how highly inappropriate and dysfunctional this is.

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Stop it. Please stop. Maggie, I'm not the person that you think I am. - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. You're right, you're good. You're not like the others. I'm not like others. I'm very different than the others. So different, in fact, that you and I can never, ever, ever, ever be together. - Stop biting. - Why? Oh. Oh, my God. What are you saying? Are you confused?

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Oh, yeah?

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You did your job, and now the hero can move on. I don't want to.

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We deserve a break. I lost my family.

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Hey, Mike? If it's any consolation, I think you really did help your kids.

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Oh, cr... - The thing. You mean our divorce? Do you take any of this seriously? No, no! Yes, I take this seriously. I had to leave the country very suddenly, uh... ...with the Mayan... Inca, I'm with the Incas in Peru. We think we might have found the next...

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Are you with a girl? No, no. It's, uh, a bunch of cheerleaders. So would you consider maybe dating a 10th-grader? I think we could go for full custody. No, you can't take my kids away from me. Since when do you care? Look...

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- You're looking. Stop it, stop it. - I'll look at him. Hey, twinkle douche.

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So how come we never met?

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No phones, no texting.

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...Rogaine.

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Is that the guy who taped you to the toilet? Yeah. Yesterday he shoved me in a washing machine in my own house. - What was that jerk doing at your house? - It's Maggie's boyfriend.

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