I'm sorry, "What Homecoming Means to Me"? What are we, 5 years old? - What is this? - Look, I'm sorry, B. I know it sucks, but maybe it's the universe telling you, you need to be there. Please don't start with the universe with me this early in the morning, okay? Everything and everyone can suck it. Okay, it's not the end of the world. Ho, ho. Well, that's easy for you to say. - I don't have a date. - I can fix that.
The DUFF
30.8s
But one night divine inspiration struck. You can expect to go through five stages. - The first is denial. - No way, because I'm not dying. - Second is anger. - Why, you little... Agh! After that comes fear. - What's after fear? - Bargaining. Get me out of this. I'll make it worth your while. - Finally, acceptance. - Well, we all gotta go sometime. And just like that, she became Dottie Piper, local celebrity to the 40-and-over self-help crowd, all-around rock star and occasional mom.
The DUFF
17.5s
All right, let me tell you something. I was in the depression stage about my ex, but I combined my ex with "depression," and I got "expression." if you girls wanna really knock the boys out, you should project boldness with a power pantsuit combo.
The DUFF
9.1s
I'm gonna look like Hillary Clinton, Mom. I know, right? Okay, kids, enjoy your party. I love you. I have another seminar to prep for. - Okay, bye. - Bye.
The DUFF
5.5s
That was a good take for me. Get a wide shot too. Hey, Caitlyn, take five. - Thanks. - Ew.
The DUFF
5s
Charlie Piper. My cousin Charlie Piper?
The DUFF
3.9s
What? You've got to be kidding me.
The DUFF
3.6s
- Wesley? - Agh! Caitlyn.
The DUFF
1.8s
Hey, Mads.
The DUFF
9.2s
- I would play "Call of Duty" with her... - Yeah. - ...all night. - Wait, what? And bang her hard too, to the point of needing helmets. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - That too, yeah.
The DUFF
8.5s
There's a Vincent Price marathon on, so I gotta watch that. - Who's that? - Ugh. Shit, there's Señor Gomez. I'm failing Spanish.
The DUFF
4.2s
Martin Van Buren. Nickelback. Antidisestablishmentarianism.
The DUFF
10.3s
Jess has the hottest ass. Casey has the hottest rack. Bianca, she has the hottest friends. - Yeah. - Yeah.
