SAM: I don't want kids. People say, "Sam, you're gonna love it. "This kid... You're gonna have a kid, "he's gonna be your best friend." A best friend that... that pukes on you and shits everywhere and is constantly screaming. I already have friends like that. - [ Audience laughs ] - People say, "Sam..." I know you're bummed, all right, but, like...
The Big Sick
2.3s
- Yeah, I really... - [ All murmuring ]
The Big Sick
12.8s
Emily's a good person. I'm not saying she's not. All I'm saying is, this is the universe telling you, "Seize your moment. "Be a little selfish and pursue your career." Bob Dalavan's gonna be here on Thursday. If you get the Montreal Comedy Festival, it would change things for you.
The Big Sick
2.5s
We should be ashamed of ourselves. We're weak. We're weak.
The Big Sick
1.4s
I'm sorry.
The Big Sick
1.6s
I can't lose my family.
The Big Sick
5.4s
All right. Andrew Jackson. Don't you think he would look cool with a pair of sunglasses?
The Big Sick
3s
- Okay. Mmm. - AZMAT: Okay.
The Big Sick
1.9s
In which we end up together?
The Big Sick
6.2s
Can you make his belly disappear? - Oh. - Come on. I'm too happy with my belly. Does anyone have a dollar?
The Big Sick
3.9s
I go off alone to find the cat. [ Audience laughing ]
The Big Sick
1.7s
- I will give you something. - Okay.
The Big Sick
1.4s
I don't know.
The Big Sick
1.1s
[ Door slams ]
The Big Sick
6.7s
I work on the second floor of the bank - in this fantasy scenario. - Go back to ISIS.
The Big Sick
12.3s
- Toast is the only food... - BETH: No, I mean, that is a really confusing position. I mean, do you want ISIS to have more people? No, I was saying that... Guess what, everybody? We got an ISIS recruiter here. [ People laughing ] All right, glad we got to the bottom of that.
