Um, 'm the case of Ted v. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts, we, the jury, find for the Commonwealth in that Ted is not a person.
Ted 2
1.4s
Fresh cakes.
Ted 2
7.5s
The bear products are affixed with an electronic device in the chest which can be programmed to say any one of five phrases.
Ted 2
6.1s
I don't know exactly what makes a person a person. All I know is I feel stuff.
Ted 2
2.1s
(VIDEO GAME MUSIC PLAYS)
Ted 2
33.6s
(SINGING) If you wanna sit there with a pie of meat Just fuck your own brother in the front seat Oh, why can't you just say please? Hey! Must be the money Hey, Sam, why do you have a duffel bag that says "Arizona State"? Because that's where I went to school. What, you went to Arizona State? Yeah, why? Oh, man, that's why we lost the case. Hello? You're dicks. Arizona State. Hey, how many times you been fucked on a houseboat? (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING) Oh, come on. Did you write your dissertation on the collected works of, uh, Red Bull? Yeah. Yeah, I did. I got an A on it.
Ted 2
1.3s
I'm listening.
Ted 2
1.4s
Hey,Bennefi!
Ted 2
2.7s
Why is he being treated differently than everybody else?
Ted 2
1.6s
(BIG BAND MUSIC PLAYING)
Ted 2
1.2s
(SIGHS)
Ted 2
17.7s
Well, yeah. I mean, it would have to be a pro bono situation because we're not really working with much money. But I think you'll be impressed with my client. Oh! Ha-ha! Motherfucker! Sure. Yeah, great. Okay. Thank you so much! Okay, I'll see you then.Bye.
Ted 2
2.1s
No further questions.
Ted 2
1.7s
(GAVEL BANGING)
Ted 2
1.7s
Capable of love.
Ted 2
12.4s
Oh, shit! You messed up my car. What the hell is wrong with you? Look, Sam, this is a really bad time, all right? Something happened to Ted. But it was a good time for you to vandalize my Chrysler though. Hey, fuck your Chrysler!
