(SCOFFS) It's what this country does best. Putting different people into little groups and making them watch Tyler Perry. It's wrong!
Ted 2
3.9s
Do I have fuck-me eyes? No, you have "Give us the ring, my precious" eyes.
Ted 2
1.7s
You're only one bear.
Ted 2
4.1s
(SNIFFLING) This isn't fucking fair. Teddy's a good man.
Ted 2
3.7s
One day I woke up and I just realized I wasn't myself anymore.
Ted 2
3.9s
Besides, I've been kicked around a lot this week. I just...
Ted 2
5s
Mr. Bennett, how would you categorize your relationship with Ted?
Ted 2
10.9s
The definition entails the rights thereof and will be recognized in the terms set by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. The court wishes to thank the jury for its service.
Ted 2
3s
One that loves me just as much as you love John.
Ted 2
12.2s
This is where we perform our pre-implantation genetic diagnosis. We can eliminate hereditary diseases, such as cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, sickle-cell anemia. The list goes on and on, really. Wow.
Ted 2
17.7s
Hey, Sam, how's your boring salad? Mmm, it's actually delicious. Everybody always says that about their salad. They're all a bunch of fucking liars. No, I love it. It's really good. Have some Cookie Crisp. You need something nutritional. Why do you think I want your Cookie Crisp? Because you've been staring at it, and you want it. Hey, what's the deal here? You guys ever gonna make out or what?
Ted 2
4.3s
TED: So do you say "Arizona State University" or do you just say "HPVU"?
Ted 2
12.5s
We better get going. We got two hours of driving left and I'm kind of beat. Yeah, we got to be well rested for tomorrow. I'll drive. You can take a nap. You don't have a license. Who cares? Johnny lets me drive every once in a while when he's too hammered. I'm a fucking pro!
Ted 2
4.7s
Hey, Johnny! You did it! Right here, buddy. Ew. I mean, awesome! (CHUCKLES)
Ted 2
2.4s
Take a look. (CHEERING)
Ted 2
1.4s
Thirsty, Urkel?
Ted 2
6.6s
Kidnapping only applies to people. And you, Ted, you're property. Yeah, so is that fucking hairpiece.
