Found 285 results
1m2s
Hey. Hey. Uh... I was thinking of finally seeing that Game of Thrones. Should I binge it? Oh, it's a, it's a pretty violent show. You sure you could watch that? I work in an emergency room. Right, yeah. So, you could probably handle a good pillage. Yeah. Okay, well, maybe I'll start watching it. - Yeah. - You watch it with me? Um, well, I actually just kind of finished it, so I-I don't... It's really fresh in my mind, so I-I would probably... - Okay. - I can watch some of them. Uh, I don't think I can watch all of them again, but... - Well... - I'll see you later, then. All right. Uh, are you okay? Or... Oh. Yeah? Come on. Uh, it's, it-it's... It's okay. It's... I-I'm here. Uh, I'm here. Don't-don't worry about it. She's, you know... Well, she's only, like, 45 minutes away, and she'll-she'll probably call in, like, five minutes.
The King of Staten Island
1m7s
Comically huge mustache. Is this what he looked like? That's exactly what he looked like. - You're scared of me. - Yeah. Yo, he-he... And that's not funny. He burst into the door, started screaming, and his mustache was flapping all over the place. - Flapping. - He looked the Monopoly Man. It was terrifying. "Look both ways! Look both ways!" - Fucking maniac. - But I will say, probably not a good idea to tattoo children in the woods. - Yeah, probably. - You know, you could get in trouble. - Yeah, you could. - Why did you do that? I don't know. I thought I would get away with it. Plus, I thought he was, like, at least 15, you know? - Oh, really? - I got... Yeah, I got my first tattoo... - How old was he? - Nine. You thought he was 15? - Yeah, I'm fucking... - Maybe you've been smoking too much. I think I'm just stupid. Uh... No, you should see my mom, though. - It's so weird since my sister left. - Yeah. She's just crying all the time and, like, - she's trying to talk to me and hang out with me. - Mm. The other day, she asked me to go to Nordstrom Rack. I almost slit my throat. Did you go? No. I pretended to be asleep. Oh, come on, she... Maybe she needs company. She's lonely without your sister. Yeah, she's-she's, she's gonna be lonely. I mean, you should've seen her at my sister's send-off party. It was, it was really weird.
The King of Staten Island
1m17s
Guys, I don't think that's a good idea. I mean... we don't listen to anything you say. - Yeah. - Yeah, I mean, why do you even try to give us advice? So, what do you want a tattoo of? The Punisher. - The Punisher? - Okay. - That's tough, man. - All right. He could've said anything. He said The Punisher. Oh, yeah, I could do that. Is that it? Yeah, that's him. - Are you sure? - Yes. Do I have your legal permission to do this? - Yes. - That's good enough for me. - How about you guys? - Holds up in court. You guys heard it. All right. Yo, he can't get consent. He's ten. Now, hold still, okay? 'Cause it is permanent. Yo, guys. Stop. Stop, stop, stop. - Put your game face on. - Don't worry, dude. This will just be on you for the rest of your life. There you go. - Look at you, tough guy. - There you go. - I don't want to do it! - Uh... - I don't wanna! - Well, I got to finish it. - Now there's just a line. - Calm down, man. - You're gonna look stupid. Sit back down. Relax. - Calm down. - Sit down. Do it. - Relax. - Whoa! Hey! - Hey! - Hey! - Hey, run! Run, kid! - Hey! Run, little man! Run! Run! Goddamn it. I fucking believed in that kid, man. He seemed so tough at first, uh, but then immediately wasn't. That's why I don't fuck with millennials, dude. Again, we are the millennials. He keeps saying that, but I don't know what that means. I regret my friendship with you guys.
The King of Staten Island
32.9s
You know what? It's fine. - What? - No, it's fine. Come back. I'm sor... Wait. Wai... - You know what? You're right. - What? What are you talking about? I'm never right. No, you're right. We shouldn't do this anymore. I don't want to fucking do this anymore. What are you talking about? I don't understand. It was all a mistake. It was a mistake. But it's fine. We're on the same page. We'll go back to what it was before. I'll treat you like I do Oscar and Richie. I-It's not even that. It's just, like, I-I don't know what I want yet. Like, I'm trying to figure my shit out. And you should. Please do. Figure your shit out. But we're not gonna have sex anymore, okay? I got to go.
The King of Staten Island
2m6s
Yeah, hello. My name's Raymond Bishop. This is my son, Harold. Say hello, Harold. I'm sorry. What's going on? Well, it seems your son was down in the woods giving out free tattoos, and my son was one of his victims. What? Well, I-I don't understand. How do you know it was my son? How'd you get this address? I have my ways. Believe me, I have my ways. Are you a cop? No, I'm a fireman, okay? I work for a living. Look at this. Do you believe this? You see that there? See that line? I don't know if you burn these off or what, but we're taking care of this and you're paying for it, you understand me? - I don't know what this is. - Scott! Oh. I am... I'm so sorry. I-I-I... There's an aesthetic laser at the hospital where I work, and it can completely remove it. Uh, I get a discount. I'm-I'm gonna pay for the whole thing. I don't know what I'm saying. I'm... I feel terrible. You should feel terrible! Look at that! - What's up? Oh, fuck. - Ah, there he is. - You get your ass out here! - Hey, he said he was 18. He looks like he's four, you fucking moron! Sorry. - He consented! - He's lying. - Harold, come on! - Course he's lying! You can't have consent! He's nine years old! Dad, let's go. You're embarrassing me. We're not going anywhere, okay? He's just a little kid! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Uh, he was roaming around in the woods. He wanted a tattoo. W-Where were you? I was at fucking work! - Fuck you! - Hey! - Come out here! If I was you, I'd shut your fucking mouth, because I can call the cops right now and have your ass thrown in jail. - For what? - For sticking needles in a kid's arm, you fucking dope! Did you even raise him? Did you even raise him? You know, there's no reason to call the cops. I can handle this and I can also handle disciplining him. Well, clearly you can't or you wouldn't have a middle-aged son still living at home, tattooing minors against their will! I asked him to do it. - It's not his fault. - That's right. That's my man. Go wait in the car. Harold, go on. And don't raise your voice at me, either. Later, Harold. Don't say goodbye to my kid. Look both ways. - Look both ways! - Go to your room. - I am! - Watch your mouth. For your information, I am not a middle-aged man. I'm a 24-year-old man, and I'm going to my room 'cause I fucking want to. What kind of fucking animal are you raising in this house, huh? I'm bringing you the bill. I don't care what it costs, all right? - I mean, what the fuck is going on around here? - All right. Just give me a day to arrange the laser. All right. You know, you know something? I-Is his father home? Where's his dad? I-I don't, I don't want to fucking yell at you. He's deceased.
The King of Staten Island