Found 285 results
2m27s
Hey, busboy, why is table 12 still dirty? Oh, 'cause they were talking. I didn't think I should interrupt them, but... Interrupt them. Get them out of here. - All right. - Do your job. - Sorry. Whoa. - Take it easy there, brother. - My bad. - Jesus. - Thank you. Uh, hi. Uh, are you done enjoying your meal? There is food in my mouth, and I am chewing. Do you think that I'm finished? I'm just holding this for my health? - Get me some water. - Sorry. - Hey, come here. Come here. Can we order? - Uh, yeah. - I'll go get your waiter. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. No, no, no. We don't have time for that. We're in a hurry. I'm starving. Okay. Can I go? Usually, the woman goes first, but go ahead. - No, no, no, no. - Oh, yeah? - How about I'm paying? - All right. Can I have a chicken parm with meat sauce? No marinara. Thin. Thin chicken parm. Why aren't you writing it down? Yeah, I-I can't actually because, uh, I'm not a waiter. I'm just a busboy, so they don't even give me a pen. Memorize it. Yeah. Seafood pasta. That's what I want. No clams, okay? Double up on the shrimp. That's how I always get it. We come here all the time. I'm not gonna remember a word you guys just said. It's not rocket science. Just go. - Get our shit. - Oh, I'm... All right. I'm starving. ♪ Send me the addy, I'm hunting 'em down ♪ ♪ Send me the addy, I'm hunting 'em down ♪ ♪ Grrt, grrt... ♪ There a dance party or something? - It's fight night. - All right, fight night! Tournament of champions! Fighting for tips. Who's going? Who's going first? - I, Zoots. - Zoots. - Everyone fights for their tips. - The tips that we earn? Y-Yeah, but you have to fight for them now. Who wants some?! Huh?! - Huh? - Who got it?! - It's you, bro. - No way. No, no way. - Put the gloves on. Get in there. Get in there. Hit him. - Hey, yo. - Hey. I don't want... Please, I don... I-I don't want to do this. - Let's just not do this. - You don't want to do this? - What do you mean? - No, well, 'cause we're friends, right? Yeah, no, for the next 15 seconds, this friendship is over, son. - Understand that? - What? - Hmm? - What? Got to understand, fighting is serious. - I don't like it. - It's sacred. It's how I tribute my Lord and Savior. - What? - It's the way I tribute my Lord and Savior, Jesus. I don't think Jesus would want you to kick my ass right now. He would want me to have these tips. - That's what he means. - You can have the tips. I don't even want 'em. - What is this? - I don't know. What's this shit? I've seen Creed a f... a couple times. - What'd you do? - I seen Creed a couple times. - Oh. - Are we about to do the Cotton Eye Joe? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Come on, son. - Okay. - Yeah. Okay. - Come on, son. Oh, that's right. You gonna come this way? Come this way, boy. - Okay. - Come on. Go ahead, take your shot, boy. - Go ahead, take your shot, boy. - For real? - Uh-huh, yeah. Come on! - Ooh! Now we are friends, - goddamn it! - Oh, geez. Take that shit. Yeah! We friends now, nigga, 'cause that's what friends are for. Out this bitch.
The King of Staten Island
33.1s
But, uh, hey, no harm, no foul. You know? 'Cause, uh, if that didn't happen, I, uh... wouldn't have met this lovely lady. Oh, well, happy to help. Things work out. Yeah. Thank God I did what I did, then. Uh, would you guys like to start with still or, uh, sparkling water? - Oh, let's go sparkling. - Uh, spar... Yeah. Yeah? You like sparkling? - Yeah. - Okay. Yeah. Oh, can we get some more bread, too? - Usually go still. - You know? Last time I came here, it came out hot. - Yeah. - It was... oh, it was perfect. It's like my mom made it. Sure. Sparkling and hot bread. All right. Thanks, buddy.
The King of Staten Island
1m15s
Hey! Oh. Oh, oh, oh, you're so skinny. - Have you been eating? - Yeah. - Hi. - Hey. How are you? This is Ray. - Hey. How you doing? - Oh. - Nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet you. Yeah, I feel like I already know you. Your mom talks about you all the time. - Oh, God. - Oh. No, only good stuff, only good stuff. Should we go eat? I am so sick of eating off a tray. - You hungry? - Yeah, I could eat. - Could always eat. - Uh-huh. Beautiful school. "Yeah, I could eat. I could always eat." Fucking asshole. Look at those two angels, huh? - Yeah, I know them. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm. - You walk them to school, don't you? - Yeah, I know who they are. - Oh, my God. - She's so cute. - Look. Look at those curls. We took them to see Stomp Off-Broadway. - They went crazy! - Oh, my God. I love Stomp. What's Stomp? What is that? It's the greatest musical of all time. Yeah, it's, like, that show where people play the drums on, like, garbage cans and, like, tap with broomsticks. - Stuff around the house. - Yeah. Like, you just see a toaster, we make an English muffin. They-they see a whole song. It's incredible. I know a homeless guy that plays trash can lids on the subway, for a dollar. And then he took a shit on the platform. Oh. Well, you know. I don't know if he's gonna get a Tony for that, but... Maybe if they keep practicing and get an adult diaper, they can, uh, get to Broadway someday.
The King of Staten Island
36.3s
What do you think about his tattoo restaurant idea? I think it's terrible. Getting a tattoo is like, uh... it's a medical procedure. You don't want to go to the hospital and order supper, you know? I just love that he has big dreams, but he's just so lost. I mean, no matter how much I try to fill him with good energy, he just... he's got no self-esteem. He's really going nowhere. Don't be so hard on yourself. Scientists have been doing studies. They say a lot of this stuff is genetic. You know, you inherit it from your grandparents. So blame them.
The King of Staten Island
39.5s
Mom doesn't need to peruse dick. - You know she needs to. - I think she seems happy. You want her to have sex with a ton of people? No, but, yeah, kind of. - I mean... - That's gross. Well, if you knew something was bad before it even started, wouldn't you stop it if you had the chance? It's like that whole baby Hitler thing, you know? If you had the chance to kill baby Hitler before it grew up, wouldn't you do it? Wouldn't you strangle it until its eyes popped out? So, Ray's baby Hitler? Yeah. In this situation, he is, yeah. He's baby Hitler. So, do you want to help me kill baby Hitler? Okay, you're right, Scott. You're right. - I'll see you tomorrow. - Claire! Claire!
The King of Staten Island
1m21s
That was fucking fun. I know. It was so fun. Yeah, like, I feel like, I feel like I kind of fit in for once, you know? And not everybody hated me for the first time. You should come here. Yeah? You think I can get into a place like this? I mean, you'd need a good GPA. Yeah, well, I don't have a good one of those. I-I didn't even graduate high school. Don't you have to graduate high school to go to college? Yeah, but it's not, like, too late to do that. All right, even so, you know, I-I'm a little too old. I'd look like a narc, you know? I would look creepy in the corner. Everybody'd be like, "What's that guy doing here?" Everybody here is so old. All right, well, I'm fucking stupid, Claire, okay? Is that what you want me to say? I can't pay attention. I can't sit still, okay? I'm stupid. I'm a dumb idiot. I would have to work ten times harder than those people. And everybody would fucking make fun of me, and I'm not ready to deal with that again, all right? So, no. So, that's it? Huh? That's how long you're gonna think about going to college for? I mean, that was, like, a 40-second walk. Uh, that's a lot of consideration, don't you think? Okay. - It's your journey. - Indeed. Now, let's get down to brass tacks, all right? W-What are we gonna do about Ray? - What do you mean? - Don't act stupid. I mean, h-how are we gonna, you know, get Mom to break up with him? I think he seems fine. - You think he's fine? - What do you want? It's Mom's choice to make. We don't need to get involved. Yeah, I know, but we should still protect her. She can't just be with the first guy she's been with since Dad. She got to, like, peruse some dick.
The King of Staten Island
1m6s
- We're gonna have a good night. - Oh, yeah. No, we're not. I hate college parties. You've never been to a college party. Come on, just enjoy it. - Relax. Go with it, okay? - Yes, relax. ♪ Five, four, three, two, I let one go, bow ♪ ♪ Get the fuck, though, I don't bluff, bro ♪ ♪ Aiming at your head like a buffalo ♪ ♪ What the fuck, though? Where the love go... ♪ What's your major? It's, uh, uh, evolutionary sociology with-with a splash of bio. Oh. I-I didn't know you could do that. Yeah, you can do whatever the fuck you want. It's college. ♪ I don't huff, though, yellow diamonds up close ♪ ♪ Catch a sunstroke ♪ ♪ At your front door with a gun stowed ♪ ♪ Put the green in the bag like a lawn mower ♪ ♪ Hair trigger pulled back like a cornrow ♪ ♪ What the fuck, bro? Where the love go? ♪ I like your tattoos. I'm an actress, so, like, I don't think I can get that many tattoos, because, like, what if I get cast as, like, an angelic role? Like, I'm kind of, like, a young Winona Ryder. So, like, I could play those parts, and, like, also, like, back when Shakespeare was writing plays, like... ♪ Five, four, three, two, I let one go ♪ ♪ Bow, get the fuck, though, I don't bluff, bro ♪ ♪ Aiming at your head like a buffalo ♪ - What do you think? - What is that?
The King of Staten Island
31.1s
What's going on?! What the fuck? - Who are you?! - You're not supposed to be here. What are you talking about?! It's my store! Who are you talking to? - Who is that?! - Go back inside. - Go back inside! - What? Don't tell me to go back inside! I'm handling this! Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. No. Get the fuck out of my store! - I just don't want to hurt you, okay? - Get out! - I just... - You're not doing this again, okay?! - This is the third time! - Enough of you guys! - Third time this year! - Shit! Shit! - Get out! - What the hell? - Get off me! - Not today! Not today! Today is Alan Moskowitz's day!
The King of Staten Island