Found 777 results
22.2s
Hey, hey! Come on! What the hell! Hey, guy, unless you want a Chipwich or some heroin, get off my ice cream truck! Who the fuck is this slob? Slob? I am a small business owner! I am the backbone of this country! I am holding a Taser! - Whoa! Shit! - Dude, should I stop? - What are you... - I'm kind of in the middle of it right here. Shit! All right.
Dirty Grandpa
25.3s
Uh-oh! Has the old man fallen? Or is it... One-armed motherfucking push-ups! Holy shit! Lesbian daughter's getting in on the action! I happen to know he smoked crack last night! These push-ups are fueled by the devil's candy! Unbelievable! Your move, Dolly Parton. What are you gonna do now, team Top Gun?
Dirty Grandpa
19.5s
I kind of feel like we're just getting in your way. - Yeah? - I'm sure there's something... What the fuck? Did you just get naked? - It's the best way to sleep. - Oh, my God! I picked it up in Uganda from the Umbatdo. Umbat-don't let your junk touch my leg again or you're sleeping on the floor.
Dirty Grandpa
1m3s
You all set? Yeah, I just gave my money to the other waitress, sorry. There is no other waitress. I'm the only one who's ever worked here. Ever... Shit! The fucking piece of shit car never starts! Hey! God, he's like a Mitt Romney Terminator. Excuse me! Uh, sorry, my shift is actually over, so... Sorry... - Oh, no way. - What? - I know you. - No. Yeah, I do. You were in my photography class. You took all those landscapes. Right? - Shadia. - Yeah. Shadia. Holy shit, you're Shadia? - Yeah. Shadia. - Shadia. - Jamba! - What the fuck! Shadia. It means "singer" in Arabic. Or in ancient Arabic, "al-munshida alati tunadi lel-mei." Or, "she whose name calls others to water." - That's actually right. - Uh, Shadia, this is my... Dr. Richards. I teach history at the University of Georgia. You're a professor? Yeah. Why? You looking for some extra credit?
Dirty Grandpa
1m21s
Jason and I are doing a story on the Middle East. He's a photographer for Time magazine. You know, I lost my virginity at my pop-pop's bingo night. My name's Lenore. Ah! "The rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore" Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore'" - Diplomaticos, huh? - Hey, you know your cigars. What are you, half Cuban or something? Actually, I am, professor. - The bottom half. - Okay. Okay, yeah, we're heading out. - Yeah. - Good to see you. We're going to Daytona Beach for the week. Oh, my God, and we should have been there three fucking hours ago... ...so let's go, bitches! - Holy shit. - What? Nothing. You're just really gay. Oh, am I? Thanks, Captain Gaydar. Jesus! You know, I'm also black, right? Yeah, I know. That's funny too. So you guys wanna tag along for a bit maybe? Party some babies into us? - Absolutely not! - Absolutely not! - Why? - We have a very important tee time. Of course you do. And do you also have to take a nap before you play Mahjong? - No, it's shuffleboard. - Shuffleboard. And then early dinner at 4:00. We have a long-standing bet. Who's the better golfer. Obviously I've got the bigger 3-wood... Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina. - Holy shit! - Okay, we're going inside now. - Jesus! - Let's go. That's enough. - Bye, professor. - Thanks for lunch. Peace!
Dirty Grandpa