Found 777 results
37.5s
Hey, Jason, you should check your diaper, bro. I think you just shit your pants. And in church, too, in front of God? I don't get why you're here. Oh! Someone made a doodie in their yum-yum! I'm just gonna put this out there once. I know your baby just got baptized. But I've got a guy in Tampa who will pay upwards of 60 grand for a healthy, white, male baby that can fight. This is a good deal, you should take it. I don't know this guy that well, but he seems extremely trustworthy. Oh, yeah. You interested? - Classic Pam. - Classic Pam. Knock-knock. Who's there? Classic Pam.
Dirty Grandpa
37.7s
- Who's the lesbian? - That's my grandson, Jason. Yeah? Is he here to scissor with me? Okay, that's just offensive to lesbians. I am very sorry, K.D. Lang. Time for Bingo! Come on. Stinky, we got to get you the fuck out of here. - Come on, let's go. - I have one fucking month left, Dick! I don't want you to remember me like this, man. I want you to remember me as a warrior. - Please. Leave me be. - But, Stinky... No, no, no... Just let me finish, Dick. Leave me your beautiful lesbian grandson so he can blowjob me to death.
Dirty Grandpa
22.9s
She's so super cool about it. She's like, "Go! Do your thing. Do you." - She said that? - That's what she said, verbatim. Wait. Should I come down and say bye? - No. God! Fuck no! - No? Yeah. No need to even... Let's not even... You just... I've done it... We're great! Wait, where the fuck is he going? Jason! Jason!
Dirty Grandpa
41s
New dad at 72. Great fucking idea. Hey, watch your potty mouth! - Jesus, sorry... - Yeah, clean up your language. And show some respect for your new grandmother! - I'm sorry, honey. - That's all right. And sweetie, would it kill you to visit us sometimes? - We never see you. - Sorry, Nanna. Did you get that card I sent for your birthday? - Yeah. - Mm-hm. Yeah, with the $12 check? It was a very nice touch. Thank you. Thank you, that's right. Hey, are you gaining some weight? - You look a little heavy in the face. - No, what are you talking about? - Where'd this come from, huh? - What? - You wanna... - Where'd these guys come from? - What? - Wanna go get the car? - Yeah. All right. - Okay. I'll pull around the minivan. Go to Daddy. There we go, come to Daddy. All right.
Dirty Grandpa
21.8s
"This day I call the heavens and the earth as a witness against you..." "...that I have set before you life and death..." Hey, babe, I found the tie you're going to wear to the rehearsal brunch Sunday. Do you like the coral color or the salmon? "...that the race is not to the swift..." Either one. "...nor the battle to the strong."
Dirty Grandpa
1m21s
Jason and I are doing a story on the Middle East. He's a photographer for Time magazine. You know, I lost my virginity at my pop-pop's bingo night. My name's Lenore. Ah! "The rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore" Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore'" - Diplomaticos, huh? - Hey, you know your cigars. What are you, half Cuban or something? Actually, I am, professor. - The bottom half. - Okay. Okay, yeah, we're heading out. - Yeah. - Good to see you. We're going to Daytona Beach for the week. Oh, my God, and we should have been there three fucking hours ago... ...so let's go, bitches! - Holy shit. - What? Nothing. You're just really gay. Oh, am I? Thanks, Captain Gaydar. Jesus! You know, I'm also black, right? Yeah, I know. That's funny too. So you guys wanna tag along for a bit maybe? Party some babies into us? - Absolutely not! - Absolutely not! - Why? - We have a very important tee time. Of course you do. And do you also have to take a nap before you play Mahjong? - No, it's shuffleboard. - Shuffleboard. And then early dinner at 4:00. We have a long-standing bet. Who's the better golfer. Obviously I've got the bigger 3-wood... Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina. - Holy shit! - Okay, we're going inside now. - Jesus! - Let's go. That's enough. - Bye, professor. - Thanks for lunch. Peace!
Dirty Grandpa