Found 462 results
29.9s
Why do you hate my guts? Your innards are of no consequence to me. It's what you represent. Oh, you hate the truth. Your skewed perception of male-female interaction is not the truth. But your imaginary boyfriend's the truth? For your information, I happened to meet him. Well, I hope he's real this time, because otherwise this is just sad. Oh, he's real. He's very real. Not to mention stunningly handsome, morally sound. He's a surgeon. An orthopedic surgeon. - You know what that means. - What?
The Ugly Truth
19.9s
All right, well, you know... ...I actually took the liberty of printing out some talking points... ...in case this happened. - I take it this has happened before? - No. No. But you have nine out of 10 of the necessary attributes on my checklist. Oh, dear God. Okay. Oh, this is a good one. Let's start with three, okay?
The Ugly Truth
17.4s
- Hello. May I be of assistance? - Yes, you may. We need cocktail dresses... ...tight jeans and some bras that'll make my friend's breasts... ...sit up and say hello. - They're not saying hello now? - What are they saying? - They're giving more of a passing nod... ...rather than an outright greeting.
The Ugly Truth
34.1s
I'm sorry... ... but Jack Magnum will no longer be able to do The Ugly Truth. Which should really come as no surprise... ...because men are completely unreliable. What is she doing? Yes? Yes, Harold? Yes. Yes, I know. We're fixing it. Take Mike Chadway, for instance. He up and quit the show without so much as a word. You think you know what men are gonna do, you think you know... ... what men want to do. But when it comes down to that moment... ... where they actually need to step up and, I don't know, make a move... ... they chicken out.
The Ugly Truth
19.3s
I am an award-winning news producer. Award-winning producer. I am an award-winning news producer. I am an award-winning news producer. You're an award-winning news producer. - You don't knock? - Well, I did knock. You didn't answer. So essentially, your knock was negated by your complete lack of adherence... ...to the social etiquette that follows a knock.
The Ugly Truth
18.8s
- This is beautiful. - Now, we're at the balloon festival... ...and I'm supposed to be telling you about how men are full of hot air. But I think we all know, it's the ladies that are full of crap. Just because she says no, doesn't mean she means no. If that were the case, I'd have only 90 women...
The Ugly Truth
44.6s
- Hey. - Woman would have us believe... ...that they are the victims. That we break their hearts for sport. - I thought he quit. - That's crap. See? I told you we'd get him back. They say they want true love, but all they want is a checklist. Is he perfect? Is he handsome? Is he a doctor? For you men who fit the criteria... ... don't kid yourselves, they're not sleeping with you. They're sleeping with a carefully calculated set of venal choices. Money over substance, looks over soul. Polish over principles. No gesture, no matter how real or romantic... ...will ever compensate for a really impressive list of credentials. This coming from a man who's never made a gesture... ...other than this one.
The Ugly Truth
58.6s
Billions and billions wasted on psychobabble bullshit. Now, listen up, ladies, because I'm only gonna say this once... ...and it is just three little words: Men are simple. We cannot be trained. All this, "men are from Venus" crap is a waste of your time and money. You wanna be a lonely hag, then that's fine... ... keep reading these stupid books. But you want a relationship, then here's how you get one: It's called a Stairmaster. Get on it, and get skinny... ... and get some trashy lingerie while you're at it... ...because at the end of the day, all we're interested in is looks. And no one falls in love with your personality at first sight. We fall in love with your tits and your ass... ...and we stick around because of what you're willing to do with them. So you wanna win a man over, you don't need 10 steps... ...you need one, and it's called a blowjob.
The Ugly Truth
57.3s
Oh, I know. I got a great idea. Why don't we pass the time with you telling me... ...how much fun you and Colin had having sex in Los Angeles? I broke up with Colin in Los Angeles, you jackass. On our left, you'll see the High Sierras... - What? - Oh, yeah. That's got your interest. If you think we're gonna finish what we started... ...you're out of your mind. You lost your chance. Oh, come on. I never had a chance with you. And to our right here, you'll see the lovely Sacramento River... ...winding its way through the dichromatic landscape. Could you please stop talking? Thank you. You're right. I had a momentary lapse in judgment... ...when I thought you were more than you are, but you aren't. Oh, yeah? Well, what does that mean? "I'm Mike Chadway. I like girls in Jell-O. I like to fuck like a monkey. Don't fall in love, it's scary." Oh, for God's sakes, there's the first one. Yeah, it is scary. It's terrifying. Especially when I'm in love with a psycho like you. I am not a psycho. Love?
The Ugly Truth