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This is Devil's Peak. The largest waterslide in a 50-mile radius. Stretch out the tube, end to end. 13 football fields. Don't Google that for confirmation. That fact predates technology. Owen, settle a debate for us. Hello, boys. Duncan, this is Vladimir, Ishmael, and Ming Lee. Those aren't our names! Those are the names I'm giving you, Vlady. These are my illegitimate sons. They all have different mothers. I'm trying to be a positive influence in their lives. Take them to Little League, Boys Club, raising pandas to fight. Shut up, jackass! Cloud fencing, hooker retreats. Neil says that years ago some kid figured out how to pass someone on the water slide. Is that true? He did! It's physically impossible, Neil! You can't catch up to someone and pass them! Actually, Ming Lee's right. I was here when it happened. All right, then how'd he do it? It happened inside the tube. So, no one really knows. Only the kid and the person he passed. And Jesus Christ, our lord. But, he's a little hard to get a hold of. He won't return my calls. We wore the same shirt to a party and it got a little weird. Be serious! Don't interrupt him, Neil! He's talking! Guys, what happens in the tube stays in the tube. That's just the law of the park.
The Way, Way Back