Found 631 results
57.1s
Is that a hickey? Oh. This was actually an octopus-related incident. I'd opened a crate and the octopus had leapt onto my face. Apparently, they have many, many arms. They have eight tentacles. Yes, and... Look, ladies, nobody gave a shit about the jump street reboot when you first came on. Anyone with half a brain, myself included, thought it was destined to fail spectacularly. But you got lucky. So now this department has invested a lot of money to make sure jump street keeps going. We've doubled their budget. As if spending twice the money guaranteed twice the profit. (LAUGHING) Like that's going to work. Yeah. Well, the commissioner's convinced this debacle happened because you weren't doing the same undercover student thing you did the first time. She doesn't get that it's always worse the second time around.
22 Jump Street
1m26s
I'm going to veto that poster. It's a touch childish. Okay. What do lambos have to do with touching children? Lambos are lame. I get one choice. I get one thing that I'm not... We have to agree. You know what I mean? What up, fellas? We're your across-the-hall neighbors. Oh, hey, there's two of you. You're twins. What's up, man? We're the yangs, man. Kenny Yang. What's up? Keith Yang. What's going on? What's going on? Did you say the yangs? Yeah, dad's Chinese, man. Our mom's not Chinese. She's black. Oh. She's like real black. Like Wesley snipes black. Exactly. We're brothers, too. (BOTH CHUCKLING) No. He's not kidding. He's serious. Oh, really? What? Like, one of y'all older? Mmm-hmm. Yeah, 'cause you got crow's feet under your eyes, man. You specifically. We're actually just normal college age. I mean, even if you're a little older, that's cool, man, because, you know, girls here love older dudes. That's true. Plus, there's mad fuckable girls here. Mad fuckable. Especially during spring break. JENKO: I love spring break. But I do have to say, I've fucked a thousand girls by now and I don't know, at the end of the day, you just kind of want something that's just a little deeper really. BOTH: Yeah, balls deeper. Jinx. Buy me a coke. Oh, snap, we're still saying the same thing. This is amazing! Carrots. Pumpernickels. Glow sticks. Twins! That's dope, dude. That's so sick. That's crazy. We have that brother connection, too. You ready? Mmm-hmm. Yeah. Pirates! Baby feet! Paper clips! Bananas! Sun! Anger! I don't know! Words! Quicksand! Shoes! Boom! That's hip-hop, man. Awesome. That's great.
22 Jump Street
22.6s
All right. Okay. That's the last of 'em. (BEEPING) Time to prove that zook's the dealer. JENKO: Or not the dealer. Next up is Brad mcquaid. (ALL AGREEING) Right? Yes. Yes! Obviously, right? I mean, the guy's... The guy's all-time. You guys, let's be honest. I mean, like, he was opening up beer cans with his eyeballs. That's so sweet of them. So Brad... Brad's in. Uh, Doug mcquaid. No!
22 Jump Street
19.2s
Maya? What are you doing here? This is a shoot-out. You know what happens in a shoot-out. They always kidnap the girl. Not always. Mercedes? You're coming with me. Bitch, please. I ain't going nowhere with you. (GUNSHOT) (SCREAMS) (GROANS) Now. Dad, what do I do? Is that my bathing suit?
22 Jump Street