Oh. Uh... yeah. I suppose that would be okay. Sure.
American Pie
22.8s
Yeah! Yeah, let's hear it. Okay, well, this one time at band camp, we were playing this game. I don't know if you know it, but it's called "Spin the Bottle." And I had to kiss this guy named Mark Wander on the lips. And-And he plays trombone... So how do you want to be? Like... how do you want to do it?
American Pie
3.4s
Uh, just a second!
American Pie
7.8s
You're Stifler's mom. Uh... No, no, not lost. Just, um, you know, taking the tour.
American Pie
6.2s
- I cannot believe this. - Come on, guys. You know, we should be happy for Sherman.
American Pie
12.2s
God, I can't believe how many cool people are at this party. Yup. And you got a keg too! - Wow! - Indeed.
American Pie
11.2s
- Hey, Oz! - Ozmeister! - Oh, great. - What about the game? - I'm not playing. - You're missing the game for us? No, I'm missing the game for you.
American Pie
3.6s
- I wanna have sex. - Now?
American Pie
16.2s
I was being selfish and majorly insensitive. I'm a... I'm a total idiot. I mean, a fool, a buffoon. I think shithead really says it. You know what? You're right. I'm a shithead, and I want to make it up to you. You know what? You're right. I'm a shithead, and I want to make it up to you. Oh, yeah? How? Oh, yeah? How?
American Pie
47.2s
- Oh, my God! - Jackpot, baby! - Can you believe this? - Nadia, I would have never known. I have an announcement that I would like to make. There is a gorgeous woman... masturbating on my bed! - Thank you, Nadia! - If you ever had a chance with Nadia, this is it. - What am I supposed to do, Kev? - Seduce her. Wha... What the hell would I say? Go over there and ask her if she needs an extra hand. - That's stupid, Kev. I can't... - That's not stupid! You're stupid if you don't go! Come on! Get over there! - Get goin', man. She's prime. - Get out of here! - She's waitin' for you. - Okay, all right. I'm goin'. - Go! - Go! - I'm goin'! - Go! Go! Go! Go! - Oh, shit.
American Pie
25.2s
So what are you gonna major in? State's got a good business school, and I could probably walk-on to the lacrosse team. Well, you've probably got it pretty figured out, then, huh? I mean, business is okay, and lacrosse is awesome, but... what am I gonna be, a professional lacrosse player? I really have no idea. Thank God. I thought I was the only one. Well, you're not.
American Pie
2.2s
So we're gonna be close next year.
American Pie
2m46s
- We're gonna do this. - All right, to the next step! - Next step! Next step! Next step! # I have visions I was in them I was lookin' into the mirror # # To see a little bit clearer # # The rottenness and evil in me # # Fingertips have memories I can't forget the curves of your body # # And when I feel a bit naughty # # I run it up the flagpole and see # # Who salutes but no one ever does # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # And I'm so hot # # 'Cause I'm in hell # # Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding # # The cretins cloning and feeding # - Well, did you get the flowers? - # And I don't even own a TV # # Hear the voices in my head I swear to God # # It sounds like they're snoring # # But if you're poor and you're boring # # The agony and the irony # # They're killing me # # I'm not sick but I'm not well # # And I'm so hot # # 'Cause I'm in hell ## Don't worry. You'll get her back soon enough. - You think so? - Sure, she likes you. - Well, I like her too. - Do you love her? - Well, I like her too. - Do you love her? Um, you know what? You can't really ask me that. Well, if you want to get her in the sack, I mean, just tell her you love her. - That's how I was duped. - Look, Jessica, I- I don't want to dupe her. All right. What you need to do... is learn how to press a girl's buttons. You have to give her what she's never had. - What's that? - Let me give you a hint. Ohh, Kev! Uhh. Yeah. - Comprende? - You mean an orgasm. - You got it, stud! - Well, you know, I'm-I'm pretty sure that I've... given her a... - No, you haven't. - Well, there was one time... - No. - Oh, man. - Look, kid, it's up to you. The big "L" or the big "O." - Dickhead! - You gotta see this. - # Do you believe in # - # Magic in a young girl's heart # - # Ooh, ooh # # How the music can free her whenever it starts # # And it's magic if the music is groovy # - # It makes you feel happy # - What did you cocks do to him? - # I'll tell you about the magic It'll free your soul # - # Ooh, ooh, ooh # # But it's like tryin' to tell a stranger 'bout rock 'n' roll ## Great. See you next time.
American Pie
15s
Come in. Come in. Oh, Jim, you're here. Uh, I was just walking by your room and uh... And, you know, I was thinking, "Boy, it's been a long time since we've had... a little father-son, uh-uh, chat."