Found 2224 results

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They need me, Ted.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Sweet Joseph, my son's a fairy.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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You know, maybe this isn't such a good idea. Being bad seldom is.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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You mean, we didn't have to-- But aren't you glad we did?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Maybe you could put me on some sort of extension... program? - A little pay-as-you-go? - Are you trying to seduce me? Who, me? No!

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Write that down.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Oh, God! Those things could raise the Titanic.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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He?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Seven years, and no degree. You should have graduated twice by now. I've done a lot in seven years. If you don't have your doctorate, you haven't done enough. But you have wasted enough of your time and my money. Pack up your panties, son, because we are headin' home.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Somebody got awfully dressed up to quiz me on my anatomy midterm. I'm so sorry, baby. I totally forgot. - I have an interview for the paper. - At 10:00 at night? Can't you postpone it? Gwen, first exam-- most crucial. It's not like you're on a deadline for the Boston Globe. It's the only time he had available. I'll call you as soon as I get back. Bye.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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We are truly up the Ganges River without a bamboo oar. We're still $1,200 short of your next tuition payment. Taj, I learned a long time ago that worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Write that down. Don't even sweat it, Taj. I've got a plan.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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- Thank you. - For four years... I have been grooming myself for the real world. I, like many, define the real world as stuff that happens after graduation. But I was wrong. It took a man by the name of Van Wilder to teach me that. You've all undoubtedly been to one of Van's parties. He's probably touched your life in some way, whether you know it or not. Watch Van do belly flops into a pool... but make sure you see he's raised $5,000 to give the swim team a next season. As you're all aware, Van was almost expelled. What you probably don't know is that he was set up... by a pathetic, egomaniacal frat boy... one who this reporter knows firsthand to have a serious problem... with premature ejaculation. And in reaction to this lynching... Van put in more effort in six days than most have all semester. Win or lose, we should thank him for reminding us what we're all capable of. That's simply what he does-- he inspires the uninspired.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Van! Van, wake up, wake up, wake up. - Your final's in exactly seven minutes! - All right.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Who's a big boy?

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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- Let's go get fucked up. - Sounds good. Is that all you think about? I admit I applied for this job... because I wanted to cut loose and shake my rump... but I do not believe that this dilemma will be solved by partying.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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It's getting to be that time of the hour.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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- Thank God. - No jammies. - Party foul. - No, don't-- Oh, dear God. Next time you'll know better.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder

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Fill this out. It's a standard payment plan extension form.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder