Found 222 results
24.4s
- Kevin likes it. - He likes getting head. Gee, what a total shocker. What about you, Vicky? I mean, h-have you just never had one with Kevin... or have you never had one, period? I've had one. - I think. - Okay. That's a no. No wonder you're not psyched about sex. You tell me you never even had one manually? - I've never tried it. - You've never double-clicked your mouse?
American Pie
1m15s
So, uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking? Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me? - Yes, ma'am, I am. - # And here's to you # # Mrs. Robinson # # Jesus loves you more than you will know # # Stand up tall, Mrs. Robinson # - Mmm, you're dead. - # God in heaven smiles on those who pray # # Hey, hey, hey # # Hey, hey, hey ## # Hey, hey, hey ## # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # And there's no cure # # And no way to be sure # # Why everything's turned inside out # # Instilling so much doubt # # It makes me so tired # # I feel so uninspired # # My head is battling with my heart # # My logic has been torn apart And now ## - I had no idea you'd be this good. - Neither did I. Oh, Finchy. Finch. - Oh, Stifler's mom! - Finchy!
American Pie
28.7s
Excuse me, everyone. Sorry to interrupt. I just thought you all should know this. Chuck Sherman is a liar. I never had sex with him. He's never had sex with anyone. I know this because he told me. Once he tried to screw a grapefruit, but that's all. Oh. He also told me that when he gets nervous, he sometimes wets his pants. Thank you for your time.
American Pie
1m19s
# Till the evenin' ends ## All right, status check. Where do you guys stand? Finch, we know where you are, but can't really use that as an excuse. Jim? Uh, my date's a flute-toting band dork. Does that answer your question? Oz, is this vocal-jazz shit gonna pay off or what? Kevin, what's with the attitude? Attitude? Me? I think you guys should be a little more enthusiastic. This is the night we've been waiting for. We're in this together. You guys can't back out. Kev, you don't need us to get laid. Are you afraid or something? No. Come on. We made a pact. You can't break that. You guys are gonna have to... Have to what, Kev, huh? I don't have to do shit. Forget it already. I am so sick and tired of all this bullshit pressure. I've never even had sex, and already, I can't stand it. I hate sex! And I'm not gonna stand around here busting my balls over something that, quite frankly, isn't that damn important. I'm gonna go hang out with that geek over there... 'cause at least she has something else to talk about besides sex. Goddamn.
American Pie
1m24s
# Don't stray # # Don't ever go away # # I should be much too smart for this # # You know it gets the better of me # # Sometimes when you and I collide # - # I fall into an ocean of you # - Oh. My hair. # Pull me out in time # # Don't let me drown # # Let me down # You okay? Yeah. Go slow. # Say you'll stay # # Don't come and go # # Like you do # # Sway my way # # Yeah, I need to know # # All about you # # Say you'll stay ## So the end of the story is you... had to kiss the guy for 20 seconds. Yes! And he was such a dork. Everyone laughed at me... - but I didn't care because it was so funny. - I get it. And this one time at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy. Excuse me? What? You don't think I know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... Sex Ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cause I'm gettin' kinda antsy.
American Pie
48.2s
Ha-ha, nice! - Jesus! Stifler, how much did you drink, man? Hey, Stifler? How's the pale ale? - Fuck you! - Ooh, whoo! - That's Stifler's mom? - Yup. Shit. I cannot believe a fine woman like this produced a guy like Stifler. - Dude, that chick's a "MILF." - What the hell is that? - M-I-L-F... Mom I'd like to fuck. - Yeah, dude! Oh-ho, yeah! - Yeah! MILF! MILF! - Hey, guys... Guys. Guys. - Come here. - Sherman, what's goin' on? Yeah, uh... Don't you think you fellas could try a little tact? I got company, if you know what I mean?
American Pie
25.8s
It's gonna be fun. You know it's just gonna be some crappy band and stupid decorations. You're just saying that because prom's a week away and you don't have a date. No, no, no. I don't want a date. Finch is goin' stag and... so am I. God, he's like so... refined. - You think that older woman thing is true? Yeah, it's true. It was Stifler's mom.
American Pie