Hey, McLovin, are the numbers on your side odd or even? - I don't know. It's too dark to see. - We got flashlights. Oh, that's true.
Superbad
1m16s
She didn't say that. Come on. She didn't say the second part, the first... She's got an older brother. She could have asked him. She looked me in the eyes and said: "Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad. I need some Seth's Own dressing." She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man. P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man. Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility. You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her. No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay? But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk. She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her. Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. Whatever. And then I make her my girlfriend. And I've got, like, two solid months of sex. By the time college rolls around... ...l'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag. Can we talk about this later? What the fuck, Evan? We're down two points. Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer. - It's soccer. - Fuck you, man. Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again? - That was eight years ago, asshole. - People don't forget. Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca. You do the same thing with her. When you guys are shitfaced, you get with her. This is our last party as high school people. I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan. I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage... ...and stop being a pussy for once... ...and we can fucking fuck some girls already.
Superbad
1.7s
Fuck off, Seth.
Superbad
1m4s
I'd sit there for hours, drawing dicks. I don't know what it was. I couldn't touch the pen to paper without drawing the shape of a penis. - That's fucked. - No shit, it's really fucked up. Here I am, this little kid... ... and I can't stop drawing dicks to save my own life. All right. I mean, I don't see what this has to do with Becca. Just listen. Okay? Your precious little Becca sat next to me for all of fourth grade. And in the classroom is where I did the majority of my illustrations. I was very secretive about this whole dick operation I had going on. Even I thought I was fucking crazy. Imagine what everyone else would think. So I would stash all of my dick drawings... ... in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had. So one day I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard. All of a sudden... Pussy! You hit Becca's foot with your dick? Yeah. I know.
Superbad
4.2s
We're gonna arrest these two little dipshits, okay? And we're gonna pin it on them.
Superbad
13.3s
- Shoot-off. - Shoot-off. - Shoot-off! - Shoot-off! There's a lot of reasons why I like you. I mean, you're handsome and you're a good friend. Dude, there he is. That's the guy. Hey, Mark, right there.
Superbad
1.7s
Fagell?
Superbad
1.7s
Holy shit, they busted Fogell.
Superbad
9.8s
Hey, so did you bring a condom for tonight? You brought a condom with you? Yeah. I figured I might as well, you know? I brought a little bottle of spermicidal lube too.
Superbad
6.4s
We're so fucked. We're so fucked. This plan's been fucked since Jump Street. Okay, just calm down. Just calm down, all right?
Superbad
9.1s
Oh, shit. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro. Tiger got out of the cage, man. All right? I'm sorry. Come on, Mark. Let's just chill. Everyone just chill out.
Superbad
1.1s
Come on, go.
Superbad
8s
- The joint can't hold me. - Holy shit, Fogell's a badass. I'm gonna break your glasses, you fucking cop. You can't hold me. Fucking pigs.
Superbad
7.1s
Hey. You dance hot. Thank you.
Superbad
3.7s
Not from you. Give me that booze, Fagell.
Superbad
4.4s
But we're the police. We just wanna get the story straight.
Superbad
20s
Jesus, fuck. - Hang on one second. - What? Becca, I don't think you wanna do this. - You're really drunk. - No, I'm not. I am not drunk. - I see that you are. I think you are. - And I really... I want you inside me. I want you to be my first. I want you inside me. So just... Just go with it. - Let it happen. - I know, but...