You ready to bring down the house? Yes, ma'am. Thank you for the opportunity, Miss... Ma'am Jones. Thank you. Jesus, you look fantastic.
Ted
5.4s
Oh, my God, it always looks so great! I always want to fucking brush it. Right, Johnny? I say that.
Ted
2.1s
Come here, you bastard.
Ted
4.9s
NARRATOR: And so John, Lori and Ted lived happily ever after.
Ted
1.2s
Shit! Yes!
Ted
3.4s
This is how everybody sang in the '90s. (SINGING)
Ted
8.6s
We were together for eight months, and I really loved him. And then he got deported back to Iran, so I know what you're going through.
Ted
7s
Every now and then when my life's getting me down and things are tough, I just come up here and I look at it.
Ted
1.4s
(SCREAMING IN PAIN)
Ted
2.7s
Oh. Check this out.
Ted
1.5s
Sorry.
Ted
9.3s
(SCOFFS) Listen to yourself. What am I? Emperor Ming, here, controlling your mind? That's your choice, John. And by blaming me, you, you're just making yourself look like a pussy.
Ted
1.2s
It's going to be all right.
Ted
4.8s
This is going to take some doing, I think. I'll just meet you upstairs then? Yeah, I'll be right there.
Ted
17.3s
So, where are John and Teddy today? Well, let me put it this way. No matter how big a splash you make in this world, whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber, or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit.
