So you think you got what it takes? I'll tell you what I got. Your wife's pussy on my breath.
Ted
4s
Oh, I'm okay. If I get raped, it'll be my fault for what I'm wearing.
Ted
2.7s
God, there are some fucked-up fish out there.
Ted
9.5s
You would? I sure would. Is that cannibalism? No, I think it's only cannibalism if you swallow. Oh, yeah, no! Don't worry about that, because I don't swallow.
Ted
1.4s
Hey.
Ted
2.1s
Go. Take Columbus to Herald and get on the expressway.
Ted
4.1s
What is it? 'Cause it sounds negative. No, no, it's from The Notebook.
Ted
3.5s
You know, your boss called this morning asking me how my arm was.
Ted
2.4s
Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man. What happened?
Ted
1.3s
(TED GRUNTING)
Ted
1.4s
(GRUNTS)
Ted
1.2s
Excuse me.
Ted
2s
I gotta fuck her again.
Ted
2s
You're not very tolerant, huh?
Ted
11.2s
Never mind. Take her to Benihana. John, look, don't you think after four years maybe she's hoping for something more than dinner? Like what? I don't know, but if it were me, I'd be expecting a proposal.
Ted
7s
I don't know, I got fucking wasted last night. My phone says I texted someone at 3:15, asking them to beat me up.
Ted
1.6s
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Ted
15s
(SINGING) Oh, my little sixpence My pretty little sixpence Stop it. Knock it off. I love my sixpence Better than my life Stop it! Fuck! Why you got to take it to that place? You took it to a very... Now it's real. Now it's a real thing. Come on. Take it easy. All right, look, let's just find a better place to get stoned.
